Virgil Carman’s normal day consists of dealing with tons of paper, packages, and the public. As a Sicklerville postal worker, he manages the operation of a busy southern New Jersey Post Office. Every other waking moment is spent tirelessly working for his boys, and ensuring a better future for his community’s young men.
Carman presides over “Men Empowering Nations” (MEN), a faith-based organization whose mission is to keep young men responsible, respectful, and out of the pitfalls that commonly plague boys without strong father figures in their lives. MEN provides education in the form of school tutoring, ministry, social skills, and self-esteem through male mentoring. “We even did a class on how to tie a necktie, because they don’t have fathers to show them how,” Carman said. “We try to cover all types of life skills, whatever they need.”
As a survivor of abuse from an alcoholic step-father, Carman understands all too well the life those fatherless boys may be living. Growing up in a crime-ridden section of Cleveland, he watched his mother miss days of work while she waited for bruises to heal, and struggled to support her family after his step-father abandoned them. As a young man, he fell prey to drinking and struggled against other “desires I could not ignore,” all the direct result of not having that male mentor to guide him.
As Carman sees it, God intervened and he joined the Army, attaining the rank of Captain, boosting his self-esteem, teaching him discipline and keeping him on the right path. He utilized those skills later in civilian life, using them constantly with Big Brothers Big Sisters, the Winslow Township Drug and Alcohol Alliance, the Amachi program (which mentors children of incarcerated parents), and other organizations to which he volunteered his time. It was during his work with Amachi that Men Empowering Nations was born five years ago.
“On my way out, I had a father pull me to the side and said to me, “Would you help me find my son?” Little did I know that his father also was in the same prison with him. And I was thinking at that time who can help to break this so-called ‘generational curse’? Who has the unction, who would have the [strength] to step into another family’s life and help to find that son, and mentor to him so that he won’t be caught up into the system himself. And then I answered, just like Isaiah did in the Bible – ‘Lord, send me.’ It’s been a desire of my heart ever since.”
Finding that missing young man and mentoring him opened the floodgates to Carman’s life’s mission. After speaking with the single mothers in his church, he realized that the need for his service was right outside his door in the community.
“Fathers could be missing because of divorce, incarceration, or they just said, ‘I’m outta here’…now you have a mother raising that boy alone. You’ve seen the size of the kids upstairs. Some of them are six foot, standing over a five foot mother…that can be intimidating. And when they have no fear, they do whatever they want to. Many of them have.”
Carman is not alone in his mission; he has acquired a group of friends who are as dedicated to the youth ministry as himself. Everyone has a skill that contributes to the overall education of the boys. Each time they meet, they are tutored in schoolwork, receive ministry, and enjoy the ability to learn from responsible adult male figures – something that many of them have never had. The motto of MEN is “Your time…Their Future,” and they take that job very seriously. “These boys are the next generation,” said Brother Curtis, a retired educator who serves as a head mentor. “We need to invest and instill strong values in them.”
The single mothers that MEN supports cannot say enough about the effect mentorship has had on their sons. “My husband died when my son was two, and the men in my family weren’t stepping up,” said Tracy, who attends the MEN meetings with her son. “Boys need a male figure to talk to.” Carman and the other mentors work with the mothers to make their sons’ education consistent.
Carman doesn’t see his job as hard because his family and the brothers of MEN are his support. “There is strength in fellowship,” he said. But there are constraints that make the road difficult, such as a lack of funding, cramped meeting quarters and a staff who are stretched a bit thin at times. Fortunately, the building they do have was donated by Winslow Township for their use after Carman approached them , but it’s never enough. “I would love to see us have a building of our own where the boys could come every day of the week.” For now, they’ll make do with whatever they can get. Even with limited resources, MEN has taken field trips to the Goddard Space Center, the U.S. Congress, and many other places that help inspire their youth. Fundraising is a way of life, and they even managed a small scholarship gift for their graduating, college-bound seniors.
And if you ask Virgil Carman what his long-term vision is personally, he just smiles.
“I don’t know how old I may be, if God allows me long enough to just sit…and see that young man walk across the stage and get his diploma, see that young man become a mayor or a congressman…maybe he won’t forget and says ‘Thank God for Men Empowering Nations for helping to instill something inside of me.’ That’s my reward.”
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