Skip to main content

Booty call rules

bootycall.jpg

http://www.nairaland.com/

Booty calls are the norm for singles who just need to "release" from time to time. Please don't ever confuse a booty call with nothing more than just sex. That's all it is. If you're confused about booty calls (I don't know why you would be), remember the rules associated with it to save yourself from embarrassment and hurt feelings. If you're incredibly sensitive, or believe that sex is a purely spiritual act that means something deeper than just gratification, booty calls aren't for you. You're in search of a soul mate.

Here are 8 basic rules to having a booty call. Feel free to add your own.
 


http://www.dreamstime.com/

Rule #1

Separate sex from love. It's common knowledge that lesbians find this hard to do therefore always assumed that it can't work. But in actuality, it's not all lesbians; just a small percentage. Some of us can do this very well. The problem comes in when one assumes that because you've been a person's booty call for some time that implies relationship progression. It doesn't. Not even a little bit. Keep it separate at all times.

Rule #2

There's no reason to have anything in common. Why are we talking anyway? Booty calls are all about sexual gratification. It's not a "get to know you" date. Additionally, don't call the booty call just to say hello this will only annoy her. The rule of thumb is to call when you're feeling frisky in hopes that she's feeling the same way.

Rule #3

Don't expect to stay the night and cuddle or go to sleep immediately afterward.  She certainly doesn't want you to. Get up, get dressed, and get out.

Rule #4

Just because you had a booty call once, doesn't necessarily mean that you'll be a normal/excusive booty call. If you've called three times without reciprocation, it's more than safe to assume she's not interested in having another booty call with you.


http://iamgbravo.i.ph/photo/15/323

Rule #5

Don't call for a booty call more than once a week. Actually, try to call as little as possible; maybe once every couple or few weeks. You're not trying to be in a relationship. Remember, it's just sex. Nothing more.

Rule #6

It's OK to have a few cocktails before the call, but if you're sloppy drunk, don't make the call. What if you can't perform because the room is spinning so much you accidentally puke on your booty call, or have to puke period? That's disgusting. Use a little tact please.

Rule #7

Faking is a no-no that is reserved for the most dysfunctional relationships and miserable one-night stands. If you have to fake it, get yourself a new booty callee. It's supposed to be fun and satisfying, not boring and gross.

Rule #8

Never, ever assume you're the only booty call. She probably has plenty of others. So, keep it safe with dental dams and condoms from your toys. No booty call is worth an STD. Or if you just cannot stand the thought of being sexual with someone who's probably sexual with a few others, end the booty call relationship.

Until next time,

Comments