Are you involved in a boomerang relationship? You know, one where you are together, then you break up, then you are back together again. And then…you know the rest.
There can be hundreds of perfectly valid reasons why relationships break up. The list for why these couples reunite is typically fairly short. The person who ended it may have second thoughts or think their reaction was too harsh. Or, the prospect of being alone seems worse than being involved in a dependable yet flawed relationship.
If you are looking at the big picture, what you really want out of life and a relationship, you need to put the boomerang relationship on the table as well. Is this somebody you can possibly see yourself with long-term? If the answer to that is ‘yes’, then you really do need to dig a little deeper and examine why the breakup keeps happening and what you need to be different to make it a more viable, lasting relationship.
Were the breakups because of a fight, in the heat of the moment, or calculated partings. If so, what prompted the parting? Was it a flaw in their character or was it something fixable?
Really take the time to think about this before even entertaining the idea. Get out a pad of paper with two columns marked “Pros” and “Cons”. Then think as objectively as possible, filling out what you like and don’t about your potential significant other and the relationship.
If making a list is not your thing, ask yourself a couple of questions:
• Does your partner really contribute to the quality of your life?
• Conversely, do you make their life better?
• Do you overvalue your partner because you fear you won’t meet someone new?
If you answered “no” to the first question, it probably doesn’t matter what you answered to the other two. That’s not saying getting over a boomerang relationship is easy. Once the emotional fallout settles down from the final breakup, you will find it easier to move on—and better for you—than to keep going back.