"It’s a wonder I’m even alive. Sometimes I think that. I think that I can’t believe I haven’t killed myself. But there’s something in me that just keeps going on. I think it has something to do with tomorrow, that there is always one, and that everything can change when it comes." --Augusten Burroughs
The memoir, Running with Scissors, by Augusten Burroughs, tells the tale of an adolescent boy caught in the threos of insanity--not his own, but his mother's, her psychiatrist's, and everyone else around him. Burroughs gives a quick overview of his childhood and then delves into life at age twelve. His mother and father are fighting constantly, often giving way to violence, and Burroughs himself is struggling with some not-so-latent homosexual tendencies.
Deirdre Burroughs, Augusten's mother, begins to go insane. "My mother began to go crazy. Not in a 'Let's paint the kitchen red!' sort of way. But crazy in a 'gas oven, toothpaste sandwhich, I am God' sort of way. Gone were the days when she would stand on the deck lighting lemon-scented candles without then having to eat the wax." Meanwhile, her psychiatrist, Dr. Finch, begins to take a more active role in their lives. Plus, Augusten's father leaves--an alcoholic, abusive man, Dr. Finch even believes he might try to kill Deirdre.
Dr. Finch is not your average psychiatrist. He has a "masturbatorium" in his office that he frequents. He believes that children should be in charge of their own lives by age thirteen, and his own children reflect that attitude. They run wild in his run-down house. Augusten ends up living there, as Deirdre cannot seem to take care of him. The house is covered in filth, cockroaches run in and out of the walls, animal feces litters the floor, unwashed dishes pile up all over the kitchen.
Augusten goes from a prim and proper boy to an unrestrained young man. He begins his first homosexual relationship with Finch's adoptive son, who is twice his age. He watches as Finch's eldest daughter smothers and kills their cat, believing it is dying. Finch himself begins to think that God is talking to him through his fecal matter, and begins to save piles of poop on the picnic table. Augusten has all but dropped out of school, is maintaining an unhealthy relationship with an older man, and drags all the furniture outside the house to live.
Deirdre, meanwhile, is exploring her own sexuality and is going in and out of sanity. "It was not uncommon to walk in the door of their home and find my mother sitting on the sofa reading over a manuscript with shampoo horns sculpted into her hair. Anne Sexton's voice would be blasting from the speakers. A woman who writes feels too much..." She takes multiple lovers throughout the book, both male and female. She also has several psychotic episodes, the worst landing her restrained on a bed. Towards the end of the novel, Deirdre seems to struggle towards sanity, and realizes that she needs to get away from Dr. Finch, even going so far as to tell Augusten that the psychiatrist sexually abused her.
At the end of the novel, Augusten is forced to choose between his mother and Dr. Finch. "The line between normal and crazy seemed impossibly thin. A person would have to be an expert tightrope walker in order not to fall." The book ends with Augusten moving away from everything to New York City. (Dr. Finch lost his license to practice medicine after the AMA found him guilt on charges of insurance fraud, and he died in 2000).
This book is both sad and funny. Some of the situations are so absurd, you forget that you are reading a "true" story (the family of Dr. Turcotte, the real Dr. Finch, sued Burroughs and his publisher in 2005, saying that Burroughs fabricated and exuaggerated many descriptions of their activities. Burroughs settled in 2007, defending his work as "entirely accurate" but agreeing to call it a "book" instead of a "memoir").
Burroughs has a good narrative style that makes you want to keep reading. There will be moments where you squirm in your seat, horribly uncomfortable, but there are other moments where you will laugh out loud. As Amanda Cuda writes, "Running with Scissors is far from a delight, but it is extremely moving and insightful. It's even sympathetic to the Finch family, and it's a great tribute to Burroughs that he's able to see them as human despite the damage they must have caused him. It's not a comforting read, but it is a fascinating, disturbing, and yes, funny one, proving that humor may not relieve pain entirely, but can make it easier to bear" (Curled Up with a Good Book).
Recommendation? Read the book. Here's a caveat though: if you have issues with language, inappropriate scenes, insanity, homosexuality, or feces, then you won't appreciate it. So be warned. You will be uncomfortable. But it's worth reading!
You can pick up Running with Scissors at Barnes and Noble or Borders in Winston-Salem. It might also be available at Winston-Salem's Edward McKay. If you want it to come to you, check out Amazon.com.
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