How do you break up this bond? You don't! You find ways you can connect with baby.
Attention new dads, there's a small, secret and very exclusive group that isn't discussed a lot in the pregnancy books that you may have read. This group appears to be impenetrable, but with some work you can be admitted. The two members of this group don't make an effort to be exclusive, but the very nature of their interactions make them quite exclusive. The members of this group are Mom and baby, or more appropriately, Mom's boobs and baby. The members of this sacred group have a connection that can lead to feelings of jealously from Dad, but that jealously doesn't have to linger.
Because of the seemingly constant interaction between Mom and Baby many Dad's may feel that they can't find enough time to bond with their baby, but although we aren't armed with the physical gifts that Mom is, there are many opportunities to bond with baby. As all Moms will tell you, a newborn baby seems to constantly be eating. These hourly interactions, while not only exhausting Mom, have the potential to worry Dad. He may feel like he does not have the option to spend quality time with baby, because she's either eating or sleeping and there's no good place for him in either activity. The fact of the matter is that the actual breastfeeding process doesn't lend itself to quality bonding time for Dad and baby, but there are many other things that Dad can do to make sure he is bonding with his newborn.
Diaper Time: This obviously isn't the glamorous part of the digestive process (Some Moms will say the feeding isn't so glamorous either), but it can be quality time. Depending on your skill level (and it is usually very low) the first few/many changings will last just about as long as the entry level feeding process, so the amount of time spent shouldn’t be an issue. Talk with your little one while you are changing the diaper and keep a smile on your face, no matter the smell. Doing these things is very important as you look to gain your bond because babies like to see happy faces.
Tummy Time: Your baby will need supervised time on his/her stomach each day and this is the perfect time for Dad's to take the lead. Mom will be grateful that you are occupying the little one (and vice versa) so she is able to get some much needed rest away from the daily/minutely grind of watching your bundle of joy. Encouraging your little one to keep her head up with constant talking will help you gain a connection to your little angel. This time will also enable you to start bragging about your newborns physical exploits, as she "crawls" for the first time at 2 weeks old (so what if you may have given her a little push).
Bath Time: Again, not the easiest ways to spend time with your baby, as she may be screaming the entire duration of her first baths, but it's a good start. In addition, to getting more face time with your little bambino you are giving Mom more much needed rest time. Once your baby calms down and starts to enjoy her baths this is a great time for Dad to enjoy the company of baby and vice versa.
These are just a few of many activities that Dads do every day, but they are easily overlooked and not seen to be bonding time. In the end, establishing a bond with your baby really isn't that difficult, because the bond exists from day one. Your little sweetheart has heard your voice since the day she's had ears, and she's been looking forward to meeting you as long as you have been looking forward to meeting her. If that doesn't calm your fears, rest assured that your little one will make sure you spend a lot of quality time while you are changing her endless supply of dirty diapers...lucky you.
To receive Brandon Overman's articles weekly click SUBSCRIBE below and type your email address. Your email will not be shared with anyone else.
Topic Ideas? Add a comment and let Brandon know what you want to read about.