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BLACK WOMEN AND FRIENDSHIP: Why don't black women get along?

Friends Shanae, Katrina, LeAndrea, Tiffaney and Terra debunk the myth that Black Women dont get along!
Friends Shanae, Katrina, LeAndrea, Tiffaney and Terra debunk the myth that Black Women dont get along!
Raye Photography

There are a lot of black women that get along just fine, hence the picture for this article but there is a little bit of a stigma in relation to black women and friendship.

Raye Photography

We are neither the dominant society nor the dominant sex. We make up less than 13 percent of the U.S. population yet we push each other away as if we have nothing in common. Why is this?

As we all arrive for the photo shoot for this article, I watched all the women as they interacted with each other.

It was a beautiful sight of unity that would never make the cut on VH1, Bravo, Oxygen or any other reality show.

Women complimenting each other, finding earrings that go good with the other ones outfit, hugging, smiling and congratulating each other on their current accomplishments since the last time they spoke.

For me, the stigma that “black women don’t get along” is a myth that needs to be de-bunked before it is spoken into existence.

Back-stabbing, side-eyeing and an occasional throw under the bus has become this generation’s example for what can be expected when being friends with a group of black women.

There used to be television shows like Girlfriends and Living Single that showed the TRUE portrayal of a black woman’s friendships but those shows have been replaced with catty, moody, shifty and shady women who lose their sense of home-training at the slightest shift of adversity.

This is not to say that black women do get along all the time. Every woman has been thrown her fair share of insults, low blows and shady behavior by other black women but the key is learning how to effectively deal with these situations.

Do black women seem to believe they have a “pass” to “act a fool” when they are wronged by another black woman and they will let all their anger out in an effort to prove that they will not tolerate disrespect from another woman?

While no one should tolerate disrespect, it is important that we as black women first learn to value our friendships and appreciate the love that we could get out of it.

If we take the time to appreciate the support, encouragement and love that we do get out of the friendship then we can open our hearts to humility and effectively deal with the situation in which we feel wronged.

Most of us have not learned how to give, just how to take, better yet demand how we will be treated without taking the time to realize that we are not giving what we are expecting.

Is friendship important to black women? I surveyed about 20 women and received some surprising answers.

Most black women stated that friendship is VERY important but that they just don’t care to hang out with other women because [any negative generalization can be inserted here].

Black women know how to be friends! Most black women want friends!

All black women NEED friends, so why does it seem as if we can’t get along?

Why do videos of black women beating each other down get so many views on YouTube?

Why do the reality shows not show the reality? Is it because black women love drama? Is it because other races like to see us in disarray? Or is it none of the above?

As for the ladies in this picture, we all get along. Sure there are occasional spats between us but our friendships are far more important than isolated incidents of bad judgment.

The other women in the group don’t want to see their friends upset with each other and are willing to take the time to delicately mend the friendship for the greater good of the group.

The benefits of friendship include support, companionship, encouragement, excitement, strength and inspiration!

Drawing off of each other for these things creates the production of a strong black network of women and we need the world to understand that these things are already happening!

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