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Bird Slingers

Your Examiner has now slung birds.

When it debuted in December 2009, Rovio Entertainment’s ‘Angry Birds’ was just another video game in a down economy where you needed $500 and an iPhone to explore.
Courtesy of Rovio Entertainment, Ltd.

‘Bird Slinger’ – That’s what you call someone who plays ‘Angry Birds,’ the video game that’s been called “the largest mobile app success the world has seen so far.”

When it debuted in December 2009, Rovio Entertainment’s ‘Angry Birds’ was just another video game in a down economy where you needed $500 and an iPhone to explore.

Now available almost for free on 26 platforms for a host of touch-screen mobile and other gaming devices, anybody can sling a bird.

Bird Slinging

‘Angry Bird’ is a very, very easy game to play.

Your mission: Take out the Bad Piggies (who steal) with a giant slingshot.

Your ammunition: Foul-mouthed angry cartoon birds.

You throw birds at the piggies until you blow up all the piggies.

Bird slinging, you say? What’s my buy-in?

Getting a copy of ‘Birds’ is easy, too.

Login into Google Play (free) or the Apple App Store (also free) or visit Rovio’s angrybirds.com and download.

Voilà!

In all there are nine games, including the spin-off ‘Bad Piggies,’ each with many, many levels.

Play is free, with free power-ups (enhancements that make your birds bigger, badder, stronger) every day, and, of course you’re offered the opportunity to buy your very own weapons cache.

A piddling $2 gets you 30 of the power-up of your choice. For $20, you get 300.

Guys sling birds

As you can imagine, most serious bird slingers are guys.

Tune in at the office or in coffee shops and sports bars –

Guys with their sleeves rolled up shaking their phones to push their flying birds those last few pixels to make their game nut.

Obscenities, like birds, will be hurled with great abandon.

You know, for the win, man!

In the midst in calliope music and birds careening out of control, ad hoc arms dealers peddle entire arsenals of power-ups.

On their phones.

Bird slinging is sexy

Admittedly it doesn’t take many brains to use your index finger to “throw” a cartoon bird at a wall. (Birds, unlike phones, don’t break.)

That’s why ‘Angry Birds’ so sexy.

And the game screens are funny.

The music is even funnier, hysterically so, in fact, and even to adults.

No surprise – most of the sex is in the cartoons.

Besides an avalanche of merch, Rovio’s tiny little birds have spawned a media empire – 10 books so far, a television cartoon series, and a full-length feature film due for release in 2016.

With 2 billion downloads of proof behind them, it’s hard to argue with even casual slingers about the awesomeness that is ‘Angry Birds.’

Be prepared – and able – to take a joke.

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©2014 All rights reserved.

OFFICIAL BIO: K Truitt is a second-generation, native Floridian born in Jacksonville. Truitt worked in public higher education for 25 years and knows newspaper publishing, printing and graphic design. Contact: kt.4examiner@yahoo.com