As human beings it is inevitable that we will sometimes hurt each other’s feelings. And often the hurt springs from the smallest kind of comment or expression. The severity of the offence though largely depends upon the respect given to the speaker and his or her intentions. We have all experienced this kind of situation at times but it often gets resolved through explanation and clearing the air.
But what happens when a person chooses not to clear the air so-to-speak? In other words they purposely choose not to forgive the offender and instead harbor resentment. This can indeed become be a very dangerous thing; the Bible says that we are not to let any root of bitterness grow up from within us (Hebrews 12:15) the Bible actually describes this root of bitterness as poison; and poison is indeed deadly!
Now please do not misunderstand; we all make mistakes and say the wrong things at times; after all no one is perfect! And often these hurtful comments stem from anger, miscommunication or stress but it is always crucial afterwards to talk things out or make up. It is also important to realize that prior to making up there may have to be a cooling down time, such as taking a walk or drive to settle one’s mind and gather perspective. When someone becomes angry it is much like a car overheating it takes a little time for things to cool down. The Bible says that getting angry is not actually a sin (Ephesians 4:26) but it also goes on to say to not let the sun go down without resolving things; in other words do not go to bed angry. If you do go to bed angry there is always a chance that you will not make up but rush into the next busy day and forget the incident consciously but hold it within your subconscious. This of course is not always the case, for example you may not make up right away but later realize that the argument was not that important and things can healthily get back on track. But if one of the participants however avoids talking about the issue and chooses not to forgive the other it can become a bigger problem later in time. For example a person might choose to ignore the situation all together and bottle it up so-to-speak. This causes a future risk of the argument becoming a reference point for other disagreements. In a manner of speaking they are unconsciously gathering up incidents to use against their mate. Now doesn’t it make sense to clear the air right away? Of course it does! Loving someone involves forgiveness and understanding. The Bible says that we are to forgive one another even as God has forgiven us of our sins through Jesus Christ; we should be tenderhearted and kind towards one another (Ephesians 4:32).
Do not let your anger grow friends, God loves you! Accept him today!
By Gordon E. Dawe