In the new video “Telephone” that features Beyonce, Lady Gaga continues where the story left off in her video for Paparazzi.
At the start of the video, Lady Gaga is escorted to her prison cell wearing a black and white striped uniform that can only be called prison chic. Before they slam the bars on her, two muscles female guards strip her down to nothing but electrical tape on her chest and a pair of pantyhose.
Lady Gaga climbs the bars in all her naked glory and as the guards leave they mention the rumor that began last year. In essence, Lady Gaga proved that she is not a hermaphrodite and does not have male genitals.
Along the way, we see that the fellow prisoners and guards are dressed more for a bondage club than the big house. Then it’s off to the exercise yard and Gaga ups her fashion with chains and shades that are covered with lit cigarettes, while she makes out with a prisoner.
Lady Gaga then receives a phone call from Beyonce and the song begins. Yes, the music video 9 ½ minutes long and the song does not start until you are three minutes in. She is now wearing a Search and Destroy studded jacket, a pair of shades and on her head she is using Diet Coke cans as curlers. Hey, just because she’s in prison, that does not mean that she can’t accessorize.
She cuts the phone call short and begins a dance routine with prison backup dancers and they are all wearing a rhinestone covered bra and underwear set.
In this dance sequence, does anyone else think that Lady Gaga looks like Madonna Circa 1980’s, with the short blond hair, black eye brows and a mole?
For her next out, Lady Gaga is covered with crime scene tape...barely. In a large floppy hat, along with a black and white dress by Thierra Mugler, she dances out of the prison because Beyonce was crazy enough to bail her out.
In a yellow P. Wagon straight out of Kill Bill, Gaga is reunited with her partner in crime. Beyonce tells her that she has been “A very bad girl. A very, very bad, bad girl”. They then munch on a honey bun. Did I mention that the amount of product placement in this video is insane? No? Well I’ll get to that in a separate post.
A strange dialogue ensues. The gist of it is that Lady Gaga is making sure that Beyonce is ready and willing to help her continue her killing spree that began in Paparazzi. Beyonce begins to sing and then they arrive at a small roadside diner.
Wearing a yellow latex Atsuko Kudo dress, Beyonce sits down with a mean thug, played by former model, singer and actor Tyrese Gibson. He talks down to Beyonce and gets up to push around some diner customers as Beyonce slips a bit of poison into his coffee. He drinks the poison and its Lady Gaga’s turn to sing again.
Gaga is in the kitchen cooking for the entire diner. The patrons will regret that in a few minutes. Lady Gaga takes a break from cooking to sing as she wears a blue origami style telephone on her head and an apron dress. In the meanwhile, we also see glimpses of Beyonce in a hotel as she sings to Lady Gaga on the telephone. Beyonce is now wearing a Jean Charles De Castelbajac jacket and heels along with denim booty shorts by Franc Fernandez & Oscar Olima.
After another dance break, Lady Gaga shares her recipe and the main ingredient? Poison. She delivers the dangerous fare to Tyrese wearing the same pink apron dress and a new hat and telephone eye piece that made out of hair and is shaped like a telephone receiver.
Tyrese, the diner patrons and a poor Dalmatian, all keel over from Gaga’s poisoned cooking. Another dance break begins in the middle of the dead bodies. This time Beyonce gets in on the action.
In the P. Wagon, Beyonce and Lady Gaga drive off and we get shots of Gaga dancing in front of the jeep as she wears a leopard print outfit from Haus of Gaga. There is breaking news of the murders and we hear police sirens as the two deadly women prance behind the jeep in outfits by Emilie Pirlot.
The ladies drive off into the sunset ala Thelma and Louise and we see that the story will eventually continue...
Up next, look for my posts on all the outfits and another on the product placements, and there were a lot of them.
Lady Gaga Feat. Beyonce in Telephone