Wives who have experienced their husband’s extra-marital affairs often state that they feel so betrayed and hurt. Their dreams for their life are trampled upon and they are left feeling as if they have been kicked in the stomach. Some describe that they feel like a failure in some way, that they did something wrong, and embarrassment that their husband found someone else, did not want them anymore. They ask themselves repeatedly what they did wrong, when the responsibility still lies with their husband and his choices. It is important for them to remember that their husband did have a choice; if he no longer wanted to be in the relationship then he should have taken steps to end it before getting involved with anyone else.
If you are experiencing this betrayal, understand that his choice is not yours, and you did nothing to make him choose the way he did. He did have a choice, we always have a choice. Trust is one of the basic foundations of a marriage, or any relationship. When it is broken then it cannot always be rebuilt, and if it is to be rebuilt then it takes a lot of work, time, and serious communication.
In Knoxville, TN look in your local directory for counselors who are experienced in couples counseling, and there are groups for those who cannot save their marriage. Local counselors and ER’s can give one a referral to a therapist and/or group. It is good to get professional assistance with making the decision whether the relationship can be saved and the betrayal worked through.
Additionally, not always discussed is the reverse of this, when the wife cheats on the husband. The same goes for the choices made and the responsiblity of the decision made. Due to the recent events, the scope of this article has been focused on husbands cheating on wives, but the reverse does happen and hurts ever bit as much. This will be addressed in further articles. It is not a one-sided issue.