To the uninitiated, the title of Rachel Kramer Bussel’s latest anthology may seem like a teaser for erotica. Certainly, there are several essays that explore more salacious aspects of human sexuality, but Best Sex Writing 2010 (Cleis Press, 2010) is far more than a saucy ride for the sexually daring. This is a book to stretch your most important sex organ, the one between your ears and not your legs.
Best Sex is a thought provoking collection of over two-dozen essays written by a well-respected cadre of voices on erotic intelligence. The authors approach their respective topics – which range from the serious to the sexy to the sublime to the shocking – in ways that ask readers to think (long and hard, no pun intended) outside of their sexual boxes. Bussel, no stranger to the world of erotica and highbrow journalism devoted to the topic of sex, does a superb job in the introduction of preparing the readers for what lies ahead in this dynamite assortment.
Some of the pieces are quite unnerving. For example, in ‘Sex laws that can really screw you,’ Ellen Friedrichs explores legislation that is causing serious harm rather than the intended good, pointing out how, "even in the land of the free, the freedom to express your sexuality can still be pretty limited." Readers with more 'traditional' views might not take much offense to some of her points, but I’m of the ilk that every one of the 15 cases she exposes are downright scary, if not plain dumb.
We aren’t discussing old laws collecting dust in some musty shelf, waiting for reasonable minds to repeal. Consider recent legislation in New York State; a 2010 law now mandates that children as young as twelve be charged with a crime if they are caught acting as prostitutes – even if they were forced into the business by pimps. Friedrich writes compellingly, and sums up this particular case by pointing out a double injustice. “Interestingly, since 2000, foreign-born teens have been protected from prosecution by anti-trafficking laws that view them as victims. For the next year, however, teens with American citizenship may still find themselves in juvie for being the victim of something most people would consider pretty horrific abuse.” Indeed, you don’t have to be a parent to find yourself dismayed at this, or any other of the examples she offers up to make her case.
Speaking further of sex and the under aged, Violet Blue tackles that topic with equal amounts directness and humor in her essay, ‘The future of sex education.’ Calling the President and the First Lady one "hot and cool couple" who "burn up the presidential bed," Blue takes cues from the Brits and Australians to offer our new administration a targeted five point approach that finally "ends the war on public school sex education and the sharing of accurate sex information to people of all ages."
Blue’s essay isn’t the only one to address the issue. In ‘What’s the matter with teen sexting?’ Judith Levine suggests that the “the sexual dangers to youth, online or off, may be less than we think” despite the exposure to sexual content via the new media. And the funniest in this category - albeit a stretch age-wise since the author was already a young man when his adventures began – is the essay, ‘Loving lesbians.’ William Goergiades writes with flair and fondness of his time spent befriending and occasionally bedding women in Northampton, Massachusetts; otherwise known as ‘The lesbian capital of America.’ Of his first lesbian lover, he writes, “What struck me most in that heretofore gay bedroom with its posters of Jodie Foster was that for all intents and purposes I was with a virgin, a sensual and accomplished virgin, well-trained, as it were, but fresh to combat. It was the first time I’d been with someone technically chaste; that she happened to be an able partner only added to the thrill.”
Best Sex ventures into some spicy arenas. There’s the story of the sex worker who finds herself hot and bothered by an anonymous and handsome stranger whom she describes in, ‘Client voyeur.’ About her customer, a man with a strange fetish, the author writes, "He approached me, but I kept my eyes averted, taking him in through my peripheral vision. He walked toward me and moved his hands near my waist, pausing for a moment before drawing them back, and the anticipation, the frustration was excruciating…My heart was pounding, and I as thinking, Just touch me. His attention and the retrained sexual energy had me desperate for physical contact…I’d slowly let go of my resistance, transformed from defensive affectation to open, raw lust…I stood there, half naked, waiting, throbbing.”
Many essays deserve particular recognition for pushing the envelope. There is, ‘The anatomy of an affair,’ in which the essayist, writing under the pseudonym, Michelle Perrot, describes in snarly detail her desire to have, “rough sex. Dirty, spit in his mouth sex..the kind …where afterward you can’t move. And the bottom line is that I don’t want that kind of sex with my husband, this man I love.” Janet Hardy takes a good hard look at her sexuality and her vagina in ‘The portal,’ explaining that despite having had girlfriends, she finds herself also liking men. “And since they don’t have [vaginas], we use mine,” she writes.
It’s impossible to highlight every essay in this collection, each of which stands strongly alone, but together they paint a deeper, more colorful and diverse picture of our base natures. For those who worry that there isn’t enough vanilla to warrant reading Best Sex, rest assured there is something here even for the demure. John DeVore writes a delicious ode to desire, sensuality and women with curves in ‘What really turns men on.’ (Women with curves make my junk bark. There is something so shockingly vulnerable, feminine, and grounded about a woman with back, hips, a lil' paunch...sensuality is a time machine that slows things down so you can greedily savor every nanosecond.") And Paul Krassner reminds us that not all genitals look like they belong to a porn star...nor should they in his essay, ‘Remembering pubic hair.’ ("My own resistance to the plethora of bald p*ssies stems from my preadolescent days when pubic hair was such a big taboo that I became obsessed with it.")
Bussel introduces the authors as her ‘favorite sexual outlaws,’ but the only thing illegal about Best Sex is its ability to make you think in a day and age when doing so may either get you in trouble for having original thoughts, or cause a headache when you recognize that too few folks approach sex with their lids on; and by that I mean thinking caps, not your average condom (a topic, incidentally, that is covered as well in this compilation). Modern Love gives Best Sex a very strong recommendation. Available at all fine book stores, or visit the author at www.bestsexwriting.com.
Modern Love is not your average relationship column; it offers analysis beyond the news, scandals and stories. Sometimes serious, sometimes playful, often spicy, it seeks to deepen our understanding of love and help couples create more meaningful relationships.
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All Modern Love Examiner articles ©2010 by Tinamarie Bernard; reposts permitted with link back to original article. All other rights reserved.














Comments
I really enjoyed your summation of this book. I haven't read it but it sounds interesting and not typical. Thank you for sharing!
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