There is an epidemic going around. Something is happening to friendships that are causing them to spoil, rot and die. If it sounds painful, it is. The older we get, the harder it is to justify ending a friendship. When you’ve been through so much with someone, you start to look at them as family and can’t imagine never having them in your life.
Even in the world of technology, it’s still my belief that the quality of friends is far more important than the quantity. With a simple decision to ‘confirm’ a friend, you can be connected to people all over the country, share common interests, but still come up empty. You’re my friend because we live in the same city? You’re my friend because Facebook says so? You’re my friend because I’m only interested in what the surface shows? How easily we throw around the term ‘friend’ and why not, you can never have enough friends. But who can you rely on?
Friendships evolve. They change and if you are unwilling to change with them, then the friendships are doomed. We don’t lose touch with people as much as we stop putting in effort. No matter how many nights out you had fun together, no matter the trivial things you have in common, if one person can provide only that in a friendship and the other person is providing so much more, then the balance is thrown off and someone ends up left behind. Memories are fun, but they don’t take place of the moments of today.
The different lifestyles we have shouldn’t change a friendship. Comparing lives and one-upping one another isn’t a friend, that’s a competition. Unable to be happy for a friend because you’re going through a rough time isn’t true friendship, that’s sad. And, constantly antagonizing a friend, spotlighting all their insecurities and faults isn’t helpful, it’s abusive.
Maybe responsibility is boring. Drama free means you are no fun. Maybe we begin to expect more in a friendship than just someone who makes an appearance whenever the mood strikes them. Maybe it is what it means.
You’ll know a good friend when you have one. They’re able to change with you. No matter how much time passes, you know you can pick up the phone and call on them for help and vice-versa. Talking to them makes you feel stronger and happier. Even if your lives couldn’t be more opposite, the balance remains. Knowing this makes it all the easier letting go of the bad. It’s sad because we like to believe all friendships are forever but in all honesty as our lives get busier, the ones that hold us back are the quickest to go.