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2013 is on life support, Santa is waxing his sled rails and the world continues to spin, with nary a wobble or even one small, entropic hiccup. Think about that. While 40 million Target shoppers hold their breath knowing their credit card info has been hacked, the 13,227,735,730,800,000,000,000,000 pound ball we ride upon functions flawlessly. Rains fall, tides ebb, leaves sprout and seasons change. All while hurtling through a precise orbit at 67,000 miles per hour, and simultaneously rotating at 1,000 mph. And people clap when somebody spins a basketball on their finger.

Who dares call a digital device, or any man-made gewgaw, "smart?" On a galactic scale, they're as dumb as a pebble. And the operators of those gadgets? How smart are we? And the information transmitted and stored? There is no multiple of insignificant that could calculate the banality of bits, bytes, tweets and texts. Less than fly specks. Yet, many lives revolve around the acquisition, operation and manipulation of... devices -- digital, mechanical and otherwise. All future landfill.

7 billion yammering, mewling, needy, selfish 2-legged creatures now cover the globe (many of whom were supposed to be drowned by melting ice caps -- this year, according to Al Gore). Most behave as if the world was fashioned and set in motion for their personal enjoyment. And in this near-universal conceit, they are quite correct. But suggesting this planet - which functions so much better and more reliably than any of our assembled junk -- was gifted to them by anything but an accidental, cosmic cataclysm -- sends them into foam-mouthed fury.

Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

Yes atheists, there is a God.

Merry Christmas, every one.



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