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Being married and grandparenting

Our family is growing!
Our family is growing!
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One very great chapter in your marriage is when you kids start having kids. It looks like that time is coming very soon, having a daughter who’s pregnant has become an exciting time. Babies are so precious but a lot of work. Whether it’s an upcoming event for you or you have been grandparents for a while, are wondering if you are or were prepared, it’s exciting.

Even if you are prepared, there are two relationships to worry about now. You hope the parents can come together and not loose site of the things that brought them together. And as grandparents you hope the love and caring you share for each other will manifest good relationship skills and parenting skill in your adult children. There is hope and prayer that they learn from the good things you did and from your mistakes, hopefully you’re not too proud to share in those mistakes.

After all, neither parenting nor marriage come with a manual or “how to” guides. So more than likely you made some mistakes and just know that your children will too. Hopefully you learned from them and more importantly, pray that they did too. As a couple they get to make so many influential decisions for their child that are specific to parenting. As grandparents we have a different job.

You get to share all the stories of the parents when they were kids, but together you all have the job of creating memories for this new added addition to the family. My point in all this is, sense the new life has come and created opportunities to share in love, funny stories and new moments to cherish and be grateful for, your relationship should grow stronger. There should be a rekindling of love and passion for life.

It seems that this one new life should bring back into focus the important things in this fast pace world we live in today. This should be a happy time for your family and your marriage, not just seen as another added stressor. Maybe this baby came at time in your life that needs refocusing. This is not a time where you should feel more pressure, or over extend yourselves as parents or grandparents. Feeling overwhelmed will suck the life and love right out of you and what is supposed to be a joyous time. Nor is it a time for spouses to become disconnected from each other.

According to “Overscheduled grandparenting is sign of the times. According to research published by Child Trends, 47 percent of grandparents who live near their kids offer some sort of childcare assistance and grandmothers (54 percent) are more often pitching in than grandfathers.” “The caregiving averages out to 23 hours a week, with employed grandparents providing more care than grandparents who don’t work. With all this juggling, your marriage can become less of a priority, and you can drift apart.”

“Being involved with the grandkids is often an escape for some grandparents who have been married a long time and feel like their marriage has become boring. For other grandparents, they’re so besotted with their grandchildren; they want to be with them all the time.” So, if making a suggestion is ok, maybe it would be to watch the stress level in your marriages. The last thing that a new baby needs is to feel everyone stressing.

If you have children and you live long enough, you're likely to become a grandparent. What does becoming a grandparent have to do with marriage? It creates another whole set of dynamics, things about which you and your spouse may agree or disagree. In short, it may create more conflict. That’s what is has to do with marriage. The healthier mom and dad are and the healthier grandma and grandpa are…the healthier the family environment will be around that baby. May your babies bring joy to your family.

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