If you are the best friend of a single mom, whether you have children or not, these tips apply to you. If you are the single mom, print these tips and give them to your best friend. Add to the list, or delete what you want. This list is a guideline for keeping a friendship strong when it seems like there may be no friendship at all.
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Single moms are very busy. Most days they don't have time for themselves, let alone for hanging out with their best friend (or anyone else). And it is far more difficult for her to pack her children and their stuff into the car to head somewhere for a visit, than it is for someone without children to drive over and visit her. Visit her, but don't get upset if you are visiting her more than she is visiting you. And realize that her children are part of the package. You may not get much 'alone' best friend time. Love her and keep her anyway.
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Make sure she knows her children are important to you. You are now an aunt, or uncle, whether your own siblings have children or not. Respect and love her children as if they are your own.
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Hang out while she puts the children to bed. Help with this if it is okay. Yes, it takes a while to bathe and settle children in for sleep, but great friend time will happen once this is accomplished.
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Invite her do everything you would have invited her to do before she had children, and don't be upset if she is unable to make it.
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Invite her and her children to do fun things with you and others, and realize that it will not be the same as if the children weren't there. Be okay with it, and make the most of the event.
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Have a b**ch fest with her! You can both vent once in a while. Some of your best days together will start out this way, and turn into great memories as you help each other get over the difficulties.
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Do not allow other non-parent (or even parent!) friends talk about your bestest, her parenting skills or her children behind her back. Her family is none of their business, and they don't know what she is going through.
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Schedule friend days. They are fun, and single moms do need a break from their family and home every so often. Even if you only go to McDonald's to talk.
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Realize that a single mom may not have a lot of money to spend on things and activities. Find activities you can do with her and her children that will not cost an arm and a leg. A beach day, complete with photo taking opportunities. A picnic at the local park.
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Offer to babysit for her once in a while so she can do something, even though it isn't with you.
Remember: One day, your best friend's children will all be grown. At that point, she will have more time to spend with you. And, if you have children you are still raising when hers leave the nest, she will understand and still be your friend.
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