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Being a daughter in her 50’s plus doesn't make it easier when losing a mother

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Senior citizens, older Americans, baby boomers—however you classify someone in the 50 plus crowd does not matter, because when it comes to the death of a loved one age does not make a difference on the hurt or emptiness that is felt. The one thing that most people do not take in account when someone passes is that death is the end of life, but not the end of a relationship. There is no going back to continue the relationship, or fixing a relationship. Death is the finality of life and because it is the finality of life it leave the relationship in some form of limbo, but the relationship continues. This is especially true of when a daughter loses a mother.

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A mother’s love is an uncontainable force of nature. A mother’s love of a child is a special form of love, a love, which can never be explained or even understood, except by mothers. This love is felt stronger in daughters. This is because a mother provides support, advice, is a significant person who helps validate the daughter’s existence, even is the relationship is not a best friend type of relationship. A daughter’s feelings, thoughts, hopes, desires, and attitudes are influenced by a mother, this mother does not have to be the mother that existed in real life, but it is the mother who existed in the daughter’s heart and mind. This mother is the mother that will be with the daughter forever.

The mourning for a mother never really ends for the daughter, and no one else is so uniquely more important to a daughter, than a mother. A daughter will miss a mother’s protectiveness, loyalty, encouragement, praise, and warmth. The daughter has her first adult-to-adult friendship with her mother. In addition, the death of a mother will change the daughter, because who she was when her mother died is not who she will be after the painful event has occurred. The death of a loved one changes people and causes them to grieve and sometimes re-grieve the loss of the loved one. This occurs more often when a daughter loses her mother. Something as simple as preparing a recipe can make her shed tears, and grieve again for the loss she felt when her mother died. Especially if it is a recipe she received from her mom or would make with her mother.

A daughter in her 50’s or older understands and appreciates their mothers. This appreciation is because at this age daughters have become wives and mothers and understand what their mother went through. In addition, the daughters at this age have already admitted to their mothers “I understand mom what I put you through as a child or teenager.” This increases the adult-to-adult friendship with their mother, and so this increases the hurt and emptiness the daughter feels with the loss of her mother. The daughter feels a void, and no one can fill that space, because the reflex to call her mother when she is having a bad day will be there, and the realization sets in mom is not there to talk to. Each individual grieves death in one way or another. A daughter grieves the death of her mother and also the relationship lost and the relationship that was continually building.

If you are grieving the loss of a mother, father, or just the loss of a loved one, time will help, but if you need extra help there are groups that can help and have helped many people in their time of grief. Grief can be debilitating, if you let it. Family and friends can help also. Here are some organizations to contact to help with the grieving process.

Serenity Matters in Orlando at http://www.serenitymattersinorlando.com

When will the Grief End? – Making the Pieces Fit at http://www.makingthepiecesfit.com

Grief Share: Grief Recovery Support Groups at http://www.griefshare.org

You can search for a mental health counselor in yellow pages also.

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