Bravolebrity Kandi Burruss Brings Bedroom Kandi Toys To Babeland in New York City.
The Kiss and Tell Report.
The place to be that night was the Babeland shop in Soho at 43 Mercer Street, New York City. The fun gathering was a celebration of Bedroom Kandi, a new adult toy line created by Kandi Burruss of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" in collaboration with Suki Dunham of Oh Mi Bod. The theme of the night, for me personally, was progress is possible! When I interviewed Burruss and Dunham (video in left column) I found them both light hearted, focused and knowledgeable, brimming with a new surge of woman-power.
Although pop culture shows images to the contrary, African Americans are much more conservative than the society at large in matters of sexuality and sexual expression. The virgin-whore dichotomy still reigns supreme. There is little room for voices and empowerment in between. It makes sense as with so many other issues to worry about including poverty, racism and sexism, sexual self esteem is regarded as irrelevant and dangerous. The current discussion around successful single black women and dating paints us as being “too picky.” However, there would not be the levels of disease, partner abandonment and other social ills if black women were indeed overly selective when it comes to choosing a mate. Women who are truly sexually empowered have more self-love over all.
When I directed the adult film "Afrodite Superstar" a few years ago I met with a bit of backlash publicly and privately. I directed the Candida Royalle-produced erotica film for women under the purposefully controversial screen name “Venus Hottentot.” Now the tide has turned for the better and Bedroom Kandi is an important part of that.
I receive emails daily from women of color who now appreciate the 7-time nominated AVN award-winning film. Critical thinker Arielle Loren heralded the feminist film in a story for Clutch Magazine. In addition, “Afrodite Superstar” has been the subject of several PhD papers. When produced the experimentally styled film which mentions Gloria Steinem and bell hooks was embraced by press such as The Village Voice and Fleshbot.com, earning only one line in Essence Magazine. What a difference a couple of years make.
The Bedroom Kandi line came about when Burruss, an entrepreneur and songwriter, was a guest on “The Dr. Laura Berman Show.” She was surprised to find that Berman has her own line of sex toys. Dr. Laura was a sexpert in residence at “The Oprah Winfrey Show.” Kandi mentioned that she was considering creating her own line on her Bravo “Housewives” show and the Oh Mi Bod company got in touch via twitter.
Burruss has a strongly cemented reputation in the public consciousness for being a member of defunct girl group Xscape and writing songs like the multi-platinum TLC hit “No Scrubs. Her sex toy line is a progressive step in the mainstreaming of sex positivity for African American woman and pop culture at large. When I was approached last year about creating a sex toy line I was warned by those around me that it was a terrible idea as I would end up trapped in the pink glass ceiling stereotypes women who work in the arena of sexuality. As a TV and radio personality who has broadcast for major outlets from BET to the BBC Radio and gives empowerment talks to schools, this could threaten my livelihood.
Last year my mentor Candida Royalle asked me if I was finally ready to add my name to the film, “Afrodite Superstar.” Who would have thought that a sex toy line created by a brilliant and progressive reality star might make it possible for me to do so. Kandi Burruss has widened the space in pop consciousness to talk about sexuality with black women as subjects rather than objects. After all, you can’t show anyone else how to pleasure you if you don’t first know how to please yourself.
Brava, Bedroom Kandi. The team around her including DonJuan Clark shows that they are destined for greater things. Watch my interview with Kandi Buruss, Suki Dunham and a Babeland sex educator in the left column or click here.
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