That person who hurt you; who almost destroyed you: Yes, the one who beat you; raped you; bullied you: That parent who abandoned you; or maybe they were addicted to drugs or alcohol.... Remember how you said that you would never be like them? But yet, you refused to really forgive them; so instead you despised them. You spent so much time holding a grudge; so much time seeking revenge; so much time focused on what you were NOT going to become.... that you became the person that you hate.
How does this happen? How does the child, raised by an abusive parent, become an abuser? How does a child, raised by adults who molest them, grow into a person who molests someone else? How does the child, whose parents abused drugs, turn into a person who is addicted to substances? How does this happen? How do you become the very thing that you hate?
How does a child, who was bullied, become a bully? How does a person, who was abandoned, become a person who abandons others? This is the stuff that generational curses are made from. You see when you don't forgive, you hold on to unforgiveness; which is like dynamite shut up in your heart, ready to explode. You see, when you hate someone's actions and you hold on to the pain that it caused, it consumes you...and sometimes you are unaware of the power it has over you.
But then, the problem that stems from the unforgiveness is this: You focus on what you are NOT going to become and what you are NOT going to do, instead of focusing on what you ARE going to do, and who CHRIST called you to be. The issue is this: what you focus on determines what you become. If you focus on an abuser, you learn what that abuser does; how they act; and you focus on what they've done. You become a master at what you despise. And you become the very thing you hate.
The WORD instructs us to love our enemies; to do good to them that hate us. The Bible instructs us to keep our mind on GOD; to be imitators of HIM, and to be followers of CHRIST. You can not follow HIM, if you don't focus on HIM! Focus on what the WORD says about you. Meditate on the WORD day and night, and you will become what GOD has called you to be. Forgive those who hurt you and then you will not imitate them.
The WORD of GOD is truth;our instruction manual for life and the foundation of our deliverance. Don't be what you hate; focus on what GOD says, and you will become what HE purposed you to be.
"Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children." Ephesians 5:1 NLT
Forgive, so that your Father in heaven will forgive you. Don't become what you hate; instead focus on becoming like CHRIST. You become like your focus.
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