Recently I overhead two moms from blended families talking about their children. One mom said she had four children and the other mom asked her which children were hers and which were her husbands. The other mom simply replied, “they're all our children”. This mom felt that the children were equals and didn't believe that the term step children was the right word to use in talking about the children.
When you think of it, she's right. Step makes it sound like they are lessor or perhaps elevated from the other children in the family. When blending families, it's important to remember that the children are equals between one another. No child should have an advantage over the others by being his, hers or both of the parents child.
In developing a healthy blended family this is an important step in navigating the new blended family. When we treat the children as if they are all part of the same family, it teaches them that as parents we love them all and see them all as valuable to the family unit.
Think about it, when you were growing up did you ever feel that a sibling was more important than you were? If you didn't grow up in a blended family then picture this feeling magnified and you'll have a much clearer picture of how the children in a blended family feel.
If you're living in the Spokane area and want help for your blended family, you can refer to these articles for some local counseling centers and more information on blended families:
Spokane Families can live happily ever after
Spokane Families can help kids in blended families deal with a divorce or remarriage
Children's first parenting seminars required in The State of Washington
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If you're part of an organization in Spokane, Washington that helps blended families, or you're part of a blended family and would like to share something with Spokane Blended Families examiner please contact the author at Countrymom_inland@yahoo.com and share your story. We are happy to edit out any personal details and share your story with our readers.
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