Single. What does it mean? Part of Webster's definition of single is - not accompanied by another, unmarried, lacking a partner. That is the part of the definition that society embraces and operates by. Those who are labeled as single parents are often looked down upon, as if by raising a child alone we have done some terrible thing. Since it takes two people to make a child, at some point there were two people involved. When we find ourselves faced with the responsibility of raising a child alone, a job that was designed by God to be done by two people, we tend to feel a little overwhelmed and unsure of our ability to do a good job on our own. We may even think of ourselves in a negative light, as if we have done something shameful.
I grew up in a two parent home and even as a child I was aware of the difference in the way that I was treated and the way some of my friends were treated who lived in single parent homes. Due to first death, then later divorce, I raised my children as a single parent for much of their childhood. During the time that I had the help of my husband, I felt as if my family was whole and complete. I was proud to have 'a family'. When I filled out emergency forms and other paperwork for my children, it felt wonderful to be able to list two parents on them. I felt like I was a good mother because I provided a 'society approved' home for my children. It was not until my marriage fell apart that I realized my way of thinking was incorrect. I was not any less a decent human being, my character had not changed, my ability to parent my children was not lessened in any way, and more importantly, my children and I were a family with or without another parent in the home. I knew I was a good mother and I refused to allow myself or anyone else to make me feel that I wasn't.
What would I do? Succumb again to the opinion of society? No. I decided that I would never again allow others to define who I was. I decided to throw away the old beliefs that made me ashamed to be who I was, and I turned to God who designed the family structure, for answers. Being single is thought of by many people as being incomplete or part of a whole. Even those of us who are single, often feel incomplete without a mate. In my quest to make being a single parent a noble occupation, I found that Webster also defines single as being - not divided; unbroken or in other words, a single whole. Wow! When was the last time we looked at being single as being a whole? Probably never. I began to look at things in a new light. For example, a single slice of apple pie contains all of the same exact ingredients as the whole pie, right? If you take away one slice from the whole pie it is not any less an apple pie. Well, I declare you are not any less a parent because you have been separated from "the pie"..
Granted, it was never God's intention for us to parent alone. However, because man was given free will and the choice to make our own decisions, we sometimes find ourselves doing jobs alone that were designed to be done with the help of another. In that case, God will empower you with everything you need to do the job yourself and do it well. You can become a power parent with God's help. Power is the ability and strength to do something that produces an effect. If you are a single parent, then you have in you the power you need to be an outstanding parent and raise exceptional children. If you need help, God will send it! We were born with everything we need to carry out our earthly assignment. Ephesians 1:11-12 says, "In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory." That means what God has chosen for your life was chosen before the foundations of the world, for his purpose, according to his will, for his glory. He has already worked out how you are going to do it and who you're going to do it with.
I implore you to no longer look at being a single parent as a negative thing. Do not allow society to form an opinion about you by your status. If you cannot say, "I am a single parent" without feeling demoralized, then by all means, use the term 'single power parent'. When you begin to believe that you are an outstanding parent, you will begin to operate as such, and as a result, your children will begin to transcend the expectations of society and become extraordinary children. Keep in mind that, "power parents beget power children, and parents who believe beget children who achieve!"
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Rudelle Stewart is the proud mother of three children, La Tricia 20, Isaiah 18, and Eris 17. She writes Inspirational articles, poetry and devotionals. She is the Editor and Publisher of the online magazine, “Divine Eloquence Magazine”. Subscribe now! Her 2nd book titled, "SOAR Into Your Destiny" and print copies of “Divine Eloquence” are available through Lulu Publishing. Rudelle is also the creator of the “Divine Companies Network” where Christian business owners, writers, and ministries can meet. Join now! Contact Rudelle via email with feedback, comments, or information requests.