You come into this life with a built in and amazing partner—your own soul. This is the soul that has accompanied you through the previous lifetimes that have gotten you here. It is the energy that has been with you on the darkest days and brightest moments and it is the connection that is with you even when no one else is. However, somewhere along the way, we have come to think that we need to find that perfect fit from the outside in. But, here’s a concept. Why do you have to look outside of yourself for acknowledgement and approval? True. The companionship, intimacy, and camaraderie of a great partner are wonderful sensations. But, these all feel great when your partner is sharing this energy with you—not a variation of a you that you feel you should be in order to warrant being lavished with love in the first place.
In exactly the space you are in, you deserve love and attention, but you also deserve to honor the person that you are—imperfections (which may very well be perceived as such only by you) and all.
Take time to tune into yourself. Remove the image that is reflected back to you from family and friends. Strip out the bombardment of who you should be, what you should wear, and how you should look by those trying to sell their wares and those who are insecure and must identify with something outside of themselves. Turn on your radar for occurrences or decisions that do not feel right to you. When these come up, take a breath and look within to determine what about them does not sit right with you and make the better feeling decision. Do not feel bad saying “no” or turning down an offer if it does not feel appropriate.
Go out to a museum, for coffee, or a meal, on your own and sit in your own skin with no text messages, reading material, or other distractions. Observe how you feel. If there is a negativity to the way you feel, dig into why that is. In many cases we spend so much time distracting ourselves from ourselves that we get to a point where it behooves us to determine what it is we are trying to avoid. If this date for one feels uncomfortable, instead of shying away from it, do it again. Repeat the introspection to uncover what it is that feels awkward.
Learn not to avoid yourself, but to get to know yourself as completely as you can. Once you have been introduced to yourself, and know who you are, you are a solid beacon of strength and confidence for all of those around you.