One of the techniques taught amongst men is the way to disarm the "b**** shield". For those of you unfamiliar with the term, once again UrbanDictionary comes to the rescue:
"Primitive psycological protection ladies often put in an attempt to ward of those they consider creeps and/or misfits. Can usually be broken down by refusing to acknowledge the actual relevance of a bitch shield, hence making the imaginary self-defense device irrelevant."
-Urban Dictionary, definition submitted by Emmanuel left a definition
One of the my mottoes in life is to "continue using what works, discard what doesn't work". When a guy does a bad job of hitting on a girl, it will make a bad impression upon that girl. The shield forms because what the guy does is not working on the girl, so it reinforces the negative response. In interactions reinforced by repetition, a girl will see qualities of a guy that did said bad job and start to make hasty generalizations upon other men. Ladies, how many of you have decided against talking to a guy because "he uses the same cologne as my last boyfriend" or similar reason? Exactly.
I've done the same thing. That's right, there are d*** shields and I'm not talking about condoms. As suggested in my last article, many qualities placed upon women are also relevant to men. This is why many men have weak inner game; their past negative experiences dictate their present and future experiences. It is even harder for a man to recover from negative experiences because it is considered socially unacceptable to share his feelings. That is why many men will turn to alcohols, strip clubs, and other unideal outlets to attempt to solve their problems.
Vulnerability is an important part of any person, since it increases trust between two people. However, the aforementioned shields will protect any form of vulnerability in people. Hence, trust will not be able to form and the shielded person will be alone.
For slowly dissolving a personal shield, I recommend getting in touch with one's inner child. This past week I teased a bunch of girls for loving the Twilight movies. Whenever I talked to them, it was Edward Cullen this, Edward Cullen that. It's the same way for them with any other romantic movie, like The Notebook, The Little Mermaid, and Gone with the Wind. The movie provided a chance to be romanced and loved. If there's a woman you know that is having a bad day, go get a pint of their favorite ice cream and go watch a chick flick.
For men wanting to nurture their inner child, I strongly recommend turning off the computer and having an adventure. Whether it be hiking, camping, or taking a trip to a new place, the thrill of discovery helps a man.
As far as disarming someone else's shield, here are two bits of advice I'd like to share:
Hang in there and talk to them about - Life is not a Disney movie. People have crappy days. If someone's giving you attitude, try to talk to them about it. They can either respond or keep it to themself. Either way, realize that you usually are not the one causing it.
Don't defend yourself and walk away - If talking to someone about their problems doesn't work, don't defend yourself; it will only reinforce force their attitude towards you. Don't attack them either; attacking them is shifting the attack from you to them and is also a way of defending yourself. The best way to handle this situation is to just walk away quietly; by doing so, you're denying them a positive stimulus (yourself) and reinforcing the behavior that a bad attitude will cause them to be alone.
For those of you who are interested in the philosophical aspect of this, check out the concept of Tabula Rasa. It is the belief that everyone is a "clean slate" when they first enter the world and gets written on as his or her life progresses.
Until we meet again,
Olin Gallet
New Orleans Pick Up Artist Examiner
odgallet@uno.edu
www.twitter.com/olintheexaminer
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