This examiner will begin reviewing movies with the following rating system. Check out the slide show to see all the ranks. Movies will be ranked between 1-5 tickets.
ZERO: The "Really?" Movie
Somebody really made this piece of S@#*? Do NOT buy a ticket to this movie! Do NOT rent it on DVD or watch it on TV! In fact, destroy every copy you come across! This movie will conjure up feelings of disgust and hatred if you watch it. It's that BAD!
Examples: TED, Stuck On You, Vertical Limit, Arthur
ONE: The "Not Worth It" Movie
You won't feel the need to break your TV watching this movie, unless you expected better, but it's still not worth your time!
Examples: Pain & Gain, The Dark Knight Rises, Argo
TWO: The "Multi-task Movie"
This one makes for good background noise while getting other things done because this one doesn't require a lot of attention. The creators didn't seem to put a lot of effort into it so why should you?
Examples: Identity Thief, Here Comes the Boom, The Expendables 1 & 2 ... well basically anything with Arnold Schwarzenegger or Sylvester Stallone.
THREE: The "Worthwhile" Movie
Something about this movie is worth watching at least once. Whether it's because of great cinematography, bad acting or just because everyone else saw it, go ahead and add it to your to-watch list. But don't feel bad if you don't get around to it.
Examples: The Hunger Games, Oblivion, Silver Linings Playbook
FOUR: The "Must-See" Movie
If you are into this genre, you MUST watch this movie! Not everyone will understand the brilliance of this one, but YOU will.
Examples: Star Trek Into Darkness, Battleship, The Campaign, I Heart Huckabees
FIVE: The "Killed It" Movie
This movie "Killed It" from all angles. Whether you're into this genre or not, WATCH IT! Force everyone you know to WATCH IT! It's that good!!!
Examples: Sin Nombre, Bridesmaids, Thor, Warrior
Come back soon to read blunt and hopefully comical reviews on the movies you're thinking about watching or buying. Want something in particular reviewed? Let the author know!
Looking for TV Reviews? Watch out they are coming soon!