Back to school for adoptees 101: How do I educate my child's teacher about international adoption?

Educating your child's teacher about how to handle the
sensitive issues that surround international adoption will ensure
a more positive learning and social experience for all students
in the classroom.*

When sending an internationally adopted child to school for the first time or to start a new school year, it is important to remember that not all teachers are educated about the sensitive topic of international adoption. It is ultimately the responsibility of the parent to provide to the teacher and the school materials which will result in the most positive learning and social experience for the adopted child.

Listed below are ways to effectively communicate to the teacher the classroom needs of the internationally adopted child:

*Please note that in all cases, the parents should make arrangements to meet with the teacher face-to-face at the start of the school year to discuss these issues and give the teacher any prepared materials.

Write a letter to the teacher explaining your family's views of international adoption

Many people communicate in a more organized manner when writing. A letter will provide an easy-to-follow framework for the face-to-face meeting and will give the teacher something to reference at a later date. Examples of points that a parent may wish to emphasize include:

1. Adoption is something about which my family speaks openly.
2. My child takes pride in and celebrates his/her heritage, but is still just as American as his/her classmates.
3. Adoptive parents are "real parents" just like any other parents and should not be referred to in any other manner.
4. It may also be helpful to include a paragraph or two about your child's country of origin and it's adoption program, including reasons for orphaned children and access to or lack of birth family information.

Provide the teacher with answers to children's common questions about international adoption

Children are naturally curious and most will have never met an international adoptee. With little experience with or training on how to answer these questions, many teachers will avoid answering all together. Providing a list of common questions with answers that directly address your child's situation will alleviate any tension surrounding the issue. Sample questions and answers include:

1. Q: Why doesn't Sue look like her parents? A: Sue's parents adopted her from China. Her parents brought her here, and now she is American just like you.
2. Q: Where are Sue's real parents? A: Sue's real parents are the parents who live with her and care for her each day. She also has birth parents in China.
3. Q: Why did Sue's Chinese parents give her up? A: They decided they couldn't care for any baby at that time and wanted her to live with parents who could love and care for her forever.

Donate professionally prepared materials to your child's school

These materials will benefit, not only your own child and his or her class, but can also be passed on to other classrooms as well. Helpful publications include:

1. An Educator's Guide to Adoption - 22 page-guide educates teachers on how to handle adoption in the classroom
2. Safe at School - A Manual for Teachers, Educators, and School Counselors - includes 5 proactive strategies to help teachers weave brief, informal and insightful educational opportunities into their existing curriculum. Also helps them to understand why support for adoptive families by educators benefits all of their students.

Become involved in your child's classroom and be a resource for the teacher

1. Let the teacher know that you are available to answer questions or provide further guidance on how to handle awkward situations and assignments.
2. Offer to come in and talk to the class about adoption. Your presentation will ensure that everyone is receiving the correct information.
3. Provide opportunities to increase adoption awareness and foster respect for your child's adoption and heritage. Examples include a classroom celebration of your child's adoption day, much like a birthday party, and celebrating culturally relevant holidays. (i.e. Chinese New Year, if your child was adopted from China, etc.)

 For more info: Dear Teacher (sample letter published in Adoptive Families magazine), Teacher Handout - Adoption in the Classroom (Adoptive Families), A Memo to My Fellow Teachers (Adoptive Families magazine)

*photo - Wikimedia Commons - author: Sweetness46 (talk)

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