According to television and internet advertisements, the way to meet your soul mate is online. The internet has cashed in on the mass appeal of using the internet for everything from shopping, banking, finding services, and now to looking for companionship. Even though positive people look at it as a way to meet people without going to bars or being "fixed up" through friends, many pitfalls await the naive hopeful.
First of all, boomers who are looking for love can go to a website called "Our Time.com" to search for over-fifty dates. Thankfully, we boomers have finally made gains in the recognition that our single population is exploding due to the fact that we are living longer, are widowed, or divorced, and we all need love in our lives to feel fulfilled. Kudos to that thinking! However, be aware that when approaching this prospect of finding someone, look for signs to make the journey easier to navigate and more realistic.
For example, after the initial excitement of those first flirts appearing on the screen, start by analyzing the pictures.Most of us are initially attracted by appearance; however, be discerning. Are the images dated? Are they sending you shots of a high school football photo? If there are no recent pictures, why? Many photos should be included to get a clear picture of the person. Does the age match the photo? Is a head shot or a far-away shot included? There may be a reason for this. Perhaps some subterfuge is happening here.
Next, carefully peruse the likes and dislikes. If you are an athletic person, a profile of a person sitting on a couch with the headline"love sitting and reading" might not appeal to you, so skip it. He may be tall, good-looking, and have the right education, but if he is a rigid person who says he will not date anyone who is a minute older, then he may be too set in his ways to be a flexible, giving partner.
After narrowing down your choices, email him or her a few times to see how well you communicate before setting up a date. If you decide you are still interested, it is better to set up a lunch date with little or no alcohol included to cloud your judgment. Many of us can fall into the trap of nervous drinking to hide our fear of a first meeting. If all goes well, you can decide to meet at a future date and proceed to dinner.
When meeting for the first time, try to be a listener instead of giving in to nervous chatting. You already know about you, so find out about them. If family is not important to this person, and you are a big family person, chances are it won't work. If you are religious and that is not a priority for them, then that is a red flag. Don't make it an interview though; no one wants to be drilled with questions. Most of all, ask yourself after you leave if you had fun. If you can laugh with this new, potential mate, that is an excellent sign.
Many people put too much emphasis on this new adventure and spend endless hours searching the internet site for love. Be disciplined and realistic. You might just make a few friends, but come away without remorse for spending wasted time. After all, that special someone could bump into you at the grocery store. Just be ready to be optimistic, yet wise.
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