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Avoiding family arguments

Children at play
Children at play
John Moore, Getty Images

The more you understand the personality of each family member, the easier it is to build a close relationship and avoid conflict. Families in Great Falls can learn to understand what motivates each family member, and end arguments.

There is a tribe of Indians in a remote part of Mexico famed for its complete lack of violence. The tribe never inflicts physical or emotional pain on a child to produce “good” behavior. The children are offered love, affection, and respect, and as they grow to adulthood they live in peace and harmony with each other.

In astrology the signs are evenly divided into four main elements: fire, earth, air, and water. These elements are like human families, with similar qualities. Knowing what element is predominant in each family member will help you understand their personality and help you communicate with them better.

Fire Signs: Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius
Fire personalities are active and enthusiastic.
Aries (March 21 to April 20)
This personality type needs adventure and passion. Aries is the family’s natural leader who gets things done in the most uncomplicated way. They can be enormously generous with their time and effort; they crave challenges and excel in physical activity. If bored, Aries will spark silly arguments just to stir things up. Aries children hate being told what to do and need to be allowed to do things that seem scary.

Leo (July 23 to Aug. 22)
Leo is the creative, vivacious, theatrical person of the family. They thrive on compliments and crave sincere admiration. Expect Leo children to present any creation for much needed approval. Leo can be romantic, proud, and stubborn. Like all Fire Signs, Leo is not afraid of an argument – their temper is hot, but does not last. Leo likes to have fun and get everyone involved in exciting plans and projects. A Leo child should never be reprimanded in front of others, and they dislike menial chores.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21)
People born under this sign are optimistic, opinionated and restless. In the family, they contribute optimism, and excitement. Far horizons call and they are often outdoors and on the move. This child must share their ideas, and often seeks to recruit converts in the process. Expect a good deal of rebellion in a Sagittarius child. You need a think skin to be around them, as they say whatever they think with no thought of hurting others feelings.

Earth Signs: Taurus, Virgo Capricorn
Earth people rely on their senses and focus on the material world.
Taurus (April 21 to May 21)
This personality is the rock of stability in the family: natural, steady, and peace loving. Sensual Taurus likes to hug. Music, friends, pets and gardens are all an important part of family life. They thrive on traditions and routines, surrounded by favorite creature comforts. Material security is a high priority. They are easygoing until you ask them to compromise. The rare emotional blow-up by a Taurus can be frightening.

Virgo (Aug. 23 to Sept. 23)
This person in a family unit generally tends to be the reserved, sensible, helpful one. At times picky and often surprisingly self-critical, they contribute to the family with a certain calm and analytical ease. Virgo loves pets and often has more than one favorite creature. They step up without complaint to help anyone who is struggling and needs support. Not all Virgos are neat freaks and some have a high tolerance for clutter.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19)
This person is the grounded powerhouse of the family. They will do all they can to achieve practical family goals. Serious, ambitious, and usually possessing a sardonic sense of humor, Capricorn needs to get in touch with their feelings instead of their goals. A Capricorn can be pessimistic and cynical, demanding rules and obedience. Encourage young Capricorns to take on extra responsibility and speak up for their emotional needs.

Air Signs: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius
They are at home with the world of ideas and the enjoyment of communication.
Gemini (May 22 to June 21)
This is the social butterfly of the family. Curious, charming, and always on the move, Gemini loves gossip and can usually tell you what is going on with everyone in the family. Serious conversations about feelings, casual banter, and wordplay build a necessary sense of connection. Shared experiences help Gemini find their place in the family. They love to be around their siblings and cousins. Expect lots of technology in a Gemini household.

Libra (Sept. 24 to Oct. 23)
A Libra will show amazing strength coping with family conflicts, but is not always realistic if their sense of fair play is injured. Sociable and a great organizer, Libra values beauty and harmony. Avoiding necessary confrontations can make them crabby. Polite and cooperative on the surface, steely Libra manipulates situations using charm. Adult Libra can be generous with children, tight with money, and are happiest with a partner.

Aquarius (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)
This is the friendly team player following his or her own unique interests. They are enormously loyal to family, and often have friends who behave as family. They have less patience doing things “the way it has always been done.” Young Aquarians love to enthusiastically share their interests. Domestic life can be happy, but outside interests call them away. They appear aloof, but a sentimental heart lies just under the surface.

Water Signs: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces
They are in touch with their feelings and sensitive to the emotions of others.
Cancer (June 22 to July 22)
This person feels most at home with family and their traditions. Extremely tender feelings are guarded, except in their own close circle. Sentimental and moody Cancer will withdraw if injured, and finds it difficult to face conflicts directly. Their cozy home is a place of retreat and healing. They are naturally caring, but can take this to extremes and lose themselves in this role. Cancer will fight with ferocity to protect the family.

Scorpio (Oct. 24 to Nov. 22)
This is the responsible one with the acid tongue. In the family, they dominate by projecting a powerful intuitive energy. Scorpio is a stubborn powerhouse with unquestioned loyalty to family and friends. At best, Scorpio is tenacious and strong in times of trouble. Scorpio can become negative and take the whole family down in an emotional spiral of feelings. Respected family and friends help keep a Scorpio grounded.

Pisces (Feb. 19 to March 20)
Here is the dreamer of the family – gentle, compassionate, and often trying to escape from harsh reality. Even as a young child, Pisces knows the intuitive climate of the family. They are vulnerable emotionally and need a happy family life to avoid failing into some sort of victim role. Anything that supports a sense of being close to something universal that everyone shares is necessary for a happy Pisces.

J. Miller of Great Falls stated, “Dealing with my children has become easier now that I understand what motivates each child by the sign they were born under.”

Understanding the dynamics of your family will help you avoid conflict and anger in the home and allow each person to grow into a successful person.

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