A cute guy who you have been checking out for the better part of a half an hour walks over to you at the bar, leans in towards your ear and whispers with mild affection, “Your friend is really beautiful. Is she seeing anyone?”
You are absolutely devastated. In one fleeting moment your ego, future dreams of marriage with this unknown hottie, and all self-esteem are obliterated with one tiny, insignificant comment made by a complete stranger. What is unfortunate is that while your friends, family and co-workers continuously tell you that you are one of the smartest, most attractive and interesting women they have ever met, this outsider can destroy a lifetime of self-confidence, friendly assurances and pragmatism. In effect, you are taken over by doubt and questions of your own self-worth and attractiveness.
Why is it that strangers sometimes make a bigger impact upon our own self image? Is it because we honestly believe that our friends are too nice and biased to be truthful with us? Or is it due to the fact that we occasionally forget that attraction is subjective? Remember the old adage ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’? If someone finds our friends to be more attractive, does that mean that we are unappealing?
To make matters worse, your girl friend is already in a relationship. You both probably went out on the town under the presumption that she would be your secondary – your ‘wing man’ – and you would be the starting lineup. Now, come to find out, your friend is even more appealing to single men than you are…and you are single! Does this seem fair? Probably not, but then again relationships, dating and introductions are not prescriptive.
One of my single friends continuously attracts horny, non-committal man-whores (excuse the ardent choice of wording), but she can’t seem to figure out why. I have explained time and time again that bars, clubs and places promoting excessive drinking and chicanery are not the best spots to meet quality, intelligent, and loyal relationship-type guys. If you are constantly wasted, stumbling over yourself and your words, and are dressing provocatively, you are less likely to attract Mr. Right and more inclined to attracting Mr. Right Now.
If you are tired of being single and are serious about ‘getting serious’ with someone, stray away from crazy, crowded nightlife activities and try joining a social organization that promotes camaraderie and friendship. Bayou City Outdoors, for instance, is a great organization allowing adults to interact amid a vast variety of outdoor and recreational events. Do you want to participate in the MS 150, but don’t want to train alone? Or are you an avid wine aficionado, but don’t know who to take with you on wine tours? Join a local, group-oriented organization that encourages solidarity and supports individuals in their desire to meet other singles while bettering themselves.
Take advantage of single life by remaining active and engaged in your community, well-being and friendships.