There’s some good news and some bad news. The good news is that the asteroid hurtling towards Earth on the 15th will miss by a mere 17,000 miles which is ‘exceptionally close’ according to scientists. The bad news is that there is, however, a remote possibility it will crash into a telecom satellite and ruin the gamer community’s latest international competition.
We (The Earth) have been getting some ‘flybys’ lately from outer space and it’s getting a little uncomfortable. It’s not like we’re looking over our shoulder, but when you’ve got half a football field sized rock coming at you from deep space and it’s not a movie, you might have a problem.
We got a hit in Tunguska, Siberia in 1908, which devastated half a million acres of forest over an area about the size of Tokyo. We’re talking about hundreds of dollars in prime real estate, gone! It’s not a question of if we get hit, it’s when. The moon has a bad case of ‘space acne’ from these things and it’s not clearing up. This is bad timing because both the U of M and the Miami Heat are playing great basketball. We’d hate to see it all go away.
The Republican Tea party leadership blames the close call on gays and lesbians, American Muslims, Native Americans, and progressives. “Mitt Romney would have never allowed an asteroid to come this close” reported the American Family Association (AFA). “For the 6,000 years we have been in harmony with the cosmos and all of a sudden they give guns to women in the Army. How screwed up is that?
Don't panic: Earth's gravitational field will give it such a kick that we'll never have to worry about it again. Or maybe it’ll coax the moon out of its orbit and do more damage to women, the elderly, gays and the sick than Paul Ryan.