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Ask the realtor: My spouse and I can't agree on which home to buy

Ask the realtor: My spouse and I can't agree on a home (buying homes)
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Intro: In this first installment of "Ask the Realtor," Boise real estate agent and associate broker, Jace Stolfo, offers some real estate advice for buyers who can't decide on which home to buy. This counts among one of the most frequently asked real estate questions that come up when two or more people are part of the decision-making process for buying a home. While this scenario often happens with married couples who want to know how to compromise when buying a house, these tips for buying a home could apply to situations like siblings buying a home together or a parent/ child home buying pair up.

Ask the Realtor:

My spouse and I can't seem to agree on the house we want. How can we work together to find the home that fits us both?

Jace Says:

That's a great question. I think one of the key things for anyone who's buying a home to keep in mind is that no home is going to be absolutely perfect. There's always going to be compromises and gives and takes. This is true whether you're looking for a home for just yourself or if you are buying a home with someone else. There are going to be compromises.

Tips for Buying a Home: How to Compromise

Where I would recommend starting is starting with what you guys can both agree on. So what are the big things that you guys both agree on? Hopefully, you'll agree on the big points like what price range you're looking at or what parts of town in general are you hoping for. Some smaller points to consider are questions like "how big do you want the lot to be?" or "how large does my kitchen need to be?" Once you know what you want in terms of questions like these, you know what can be compromised when you and your spouse start looking at homes to buy.

I Want to Buy a Home, but….

But what I've found is that sometimes people's wish lists of what they want is not even actually feasible. So I wouldn't get too worked up with your spouse about what you want, what you have to have before you kind of start looking at some homes, because you may find that your money won't get you as far as what you had hoped. Or hopefully, the opposite is true. Maybe you can get a lot more than what you thought you could get.

So try to agree on the big items. Get out there. Start seeing some homes and see what homes are going to most closely match the features that are most important to you.

Finally, I think compromising is also a key element of really most relationships. Not everybody is going to get everything they want. And so, I think any good, healthy relationship people are going to be open to compromise and be concerned about what the other person really wants, whether it's where to go to dinner or what home to buy.

About Boise Real Estate Agent, Jace Stolfo

Jace runs Boise Real Estate Plus, LLC. in the City of Trees at Keller Williams Realty Boise. He has consistently been named one of the top real estate agents in the Treasure valley, including being named a Platinum Level Top Producer. His areas of expertise include the Idaho real estate market, REOs and short sales.

*Author's note: "Ask the Realtor" will be a regular feature in this column to be published each week on Tuesday. To ask Jace (or one of the Realtors in his office) a question, leave a comment below or contact him at

**Please note that this is general advice not meant to be substituted for talking to a qualified real estate agent.

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