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Ask the Coach: It Seems Like My New Co-Workers Can’t Stand Me

Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and Life Coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her new column "Ask the Coach."

Dear Coach,

My name is Lilia. I recently started working on a marketing office and what I thought it was going to be a great experience in my life and perfect way to gain new skills, suddenly turned into a nightmare. None of my new co-workers like me and they are always talking behind my back. When we have office parties or meetings, they completely ignore me. I basically feel like an outsider and this situation is making me think if I should stay in my job or if I should resign. What do you think I should do?

Dear Lilia,

Starting a new job can be one of the most terrifying experiences for us. But being the “new person at work” doesn’t have to be a stressful situation if you know how to manage the situation and how to take advantage of it. I will suggest you not to let your co-worker’s attitude scare you to death. Remember, they are getting used to having you around and since they already had a “routine,” having you around is a change in their working environment. Try to “gain” their respect by doing nice things for them (e.g., bringing them chocolates, donuts, coffee, or helping them out with their task, etc). By doing nice things for them, they will understand that you are not an intruder trying to take over the place and that you are willing to become part of the team. If after trying these tips, you feel they still can’t stand you, talk to your supervisor to see what he/she can do about it, but remember, seeking guidance from your supervisor and whining about the situation are two different things. One last thought; give them time to get used to you. When you least expected, they will start treating you like one of them and you will start feeling like part of the team. Good luck!

Sincerely, The Coach.