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Ask Michael Q&A: Sexually I please him yet he still masturbates Is that normal?

'Hand Jive' Doing it my way
'Hand Jive' Doing it my way
Photo by; Sherry Michael


How have you been? I was wondering...the man I'm seeing looks at porn and whacks off when I'm not around. I have never refused sex with this man and I'm willing to mess around every day several times a day. Is this normal behavior for a man and should I feel bad that he does that?

Thanks so much!

-Denver, Colorado-


I’m doing well, thank you! Tammy my lady, I think you need to look at the bright side of this situation… If you think about it, the fact he is masturbating when you are not around is much better, then the alternative… What’s that alternative? Finding another warm cuddly stand-in, if you know what I mean… He obviously has a huge supply of physical desire, and he feels the need to release it (the porn is just the catalyst). As long as he is keeping it at home and with you and/or himself, I see no harm in it.

Now that being said, if his sexual overdrive is starting to affect his work performance, his relationship with you, and/or any other aspect of his life then maybe it’s time for him to seek some professional guidance. It would be considered an addiction if it begins to really hamper his relationships, whether work or play oriented.

There are two sides to this coin… On the one hand, by releasing many times in a day his stamina may increase, he may be able to keep it up longer and not be so quick to release. (This may be just what you find appealing about him as of now.) In some cases it may become a burden, he may get so used to his own hand that you may not be able to satisfy him, or he may be unable to ejaculate at all, causing you much pain and mental angst, only you can attest to this and to what is actually happening.

In my younger years I would release myself before going out on my party rounds. I did this so that when I hooked up I would not be so quick and impulsive, it would allow me to think with my brain, not my member thus I would be a little more passionate and caring of the needs of my partner for the evening. This naturally would increase my stamina.

You have to use it or you will lose it… and that goes for you ladies as well.

As far as normal… that’s a trick question. Now if he starts to hide his impulses then I would start to worry. Before that, just figure he has a strong desire impulse, and he is just channeling his energies in a purely sexual and physical form of release.

Sooner or later he will shift his focus and start to use this wonderful reservoir of desire-energy to create beautiful things for himself and others in a more constructive and beneficial manner. Desire is the building block of all Creation; with the correct intentions and direction you can get anything and everything your heart desires.

Tammy, right now do not fret and keep feeling good. Communication is the key and you are doing well here, in All-Ways keep that line open with him, thus there is no shame and no hidden guilt. Keep things pure and open tell him what you need and how you feel and you will enjoy many years to come… Thus when his desire becomes a little more directed his need to release physically will become more subdued and relaxed, Then you will see the Man you are with in his true glory, focused and able to accomplish anything he sets his mind to! It’s just a matter of channeling his energies in a different direction. [Copyright Michael Schuessler 2011]

-Michael Schuessler-
Changing The World One Orgasm ~ At A Time™

Michael Schuessler
, author of the sex and sensuality classic, ‘The Holy G-rail', Please visit his website, to see all the different forms of Michaels works of creativity.

If you have any questions, in the sensual or sexual realm of life please E-mail me. (Use an alias if you'd like to keep your privacy). I also do private One on One consultations at 1-855-Holy G 4 U (1-855-465-9448) All calls are strictly confidential. If you have any questions or just need someone to listen, please call. I am here for you!

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