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Ask Michael Q&A: Is there a benefit for men mentally to any sexual position while making love?

'Position of the Day'
 Sex Everyday in Every Way
From Nerve.com
'Position of the Day' Sex Everyday in Every Way From Nerve.com
Photo from Nerve.com

Michael,

I'm just curious in general why a man has a preference (mentally, not physically) for one position or another. I made the leap that if he prefers it mentally, it may involve what he sees right in front of him. (Or what he can pretend he sees based on the unavailable data right in front him)

Eyes opened, or closed, or back and forth. Is what a man sees in front of him (or doesn't) part of the position preference? Does it make a difference mentally at all?

It is also my understanding that men often run a “reel” of other women in their head while engaging in sex. That doesn’t mean that when their eyes are open, they don’t see only one woman. Just for the purposes of getting off, or perhaps holding off… they use other visual stimuli. So, perhaps what’s directly in front of them can make a difference as well, be it a rear end or a face… etc. Or, perhaps there is a dominance factor with certain positions?

So, is there a benefit for men mentally, not just physically, to any sexual position while they are making love?

-Robin-
Denver, Colorado

Robin,

The benefits of position, mentally in addition to physically? Well I believe the two are synonymous.

First lets just go by the two basic positions, above and below… If a man is on top he will release more quickly, if he is on the bottom it is easier to hold that release and keep it in check. (I believe gravity has a lot to do with it, Wink, Wink). Now by being able to hold his release it naturally gives him more confidence thus mentally a boost and he may think of this briefly before the interlude.

Now some of the more in-depth positions give a deeper thrust giving a feeling of power and contentment even dominance yes, but again giving more confidence because of the pleasure he is able to give himself and his partner.

That is the key to deeper and more passionate relations; the act of pleasing your partner isn’t it?

‘By the act of giving… you shall receive 10 times that which you put out! The human body is a wondrous thing. Experience the beauty of it on all levels. Release!’

Now my Lady lets talk about this so-called reel… I can see a little visualization and maybe the image of something that gets you hot; to get the juices flowing, if you are in a hurry or tired.  But having a reel of images would be distracting and would only complicate the moment. The reality of passion is being in the moment, it is easier to apply the energy of the reel to the actual person that is in front of you, thus you both are on the same page and at the same desire level. Why waste the time fantasizing when you have the real thing in front of you? Fantasies are for alone time, unless of course you are sharing it with your partner to spice things up…

So to sum it up do we have a preference mentally? It all depends on how we feel, both mentally and physically, and it all depends on our desire level at the time. The sensations we feel change from day to day. One day it may feel “G”-reat bending the body in certain ways to hit your G-spot, the next day we may feel cramped and sore, so the ole, on top, missionary position maybe just what the doctor ordered…

I understand being curious and wanting to get into your lovers head but this can and will complicate the simple matter of lovemaking. I think you may be getting caught up in the semantics way too much.

Most men do not “think” they just do what feels good to them at the time. Some really care about pleasing their partner first and then reap the rewards by doing this.

Men run “reels” before the interlude.. to get hot and excited, not during, unless of course they are trying to create more passion by integrating you within the desires and communicating their wants to you. It takes two connected beings to make any position really work.

Or on the negative side… one may keep in silence running reels, trying to disconnect from the moment and partner they are with. (Sadly, yes this does happen, and I’m sure it goes both ways)

The main thing to remember Robin is not to get caught up in the mental aspects of making love; this goes for both the giver and the receiver!

Feel, experience communicate, and enjoy each other. Appreciate the sensuality of the moment, thus your love for each other will do nothing but grow and become stronger no matter what position you embark upon!

Smiles,
-Michael Schuessler-
“Changing The World One Orgasm ~ At A Time”™

Michael Schuessler, author of the sex and sensuality classic, 'The Holy G-Rail' Please visit his website, www.theholyg-rail.com to see all the different forms of Michaels' works of creativity.

If you have any questions, in the sensual or sexual arena of life please E-mail me. (Use an alias if you'd like to keep your privacy).

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