Hi Michael,
I don’t know if you get this kind of question a lot.... But how do you find a man that is willing to commit and will treat me like his princess? Here it is coming up on Valentine's Day, and I am alone with no man in my life, again. I don’t have any problem getting men but I think I am mostly definitely going after the wrong kind of man. None of them want to commit. Oh they give me little signs like they always do, my own toothbrush for their place, if we go out to a bar and another guy approaches me, they say “She’s taken” but when I ask for a commitment they would rather drown themselves then commit. Maybe I’m giving out the wrong signals, or could it be that am just going after the wrong kind of men? Why can’t men commit? Are there any men left out there that want to be my Knight in Shining armor? Just call me… Alone, again naturally!
Savanna, -Denver, Colorado-
Savanna,
As far as finding a man that is willing to commit, I'm sure there are plenty of them out there to choose from. You might have already found one, yet just passed him by.
What we need to realize, is that when we go on the hunt, for that Knight in Shining Armor, (or the Princess of our dreams for that matter). What you project is exactly what you will get back. How can this be a problem? Because, some of what we are projecting comes from our own personal vault of past experience, those experiences that we charged with deep desire and emotion. (You store these experiences within your being). Thus when we reach out we tend to draw the same type of relationships, those that we have experienced in the past. Until we can understand the reasons for them going astray and correct the negative thought processes that created the issues surrounding the relationship, it will be difficult for us to change our personal response to any given partner.It helps visualizing the partner of your dreams, down to every inch and fiber of his or her being. This goes a long way in creating that which you truly desire, but this is only a start. We must change our past interior emotional responses in a positive way, in order to gain that which we truly want. Until we truly understand why the experiences of the past went wrong we will continue to re-create them.
A good start is to recognize is the fact that women and men have a different way of communicating. Women are receptive on the physical plane, and men are projective. What this means is that you cannot expect your partner to react to a situation the same manner that you would. When you do expect them to respond in the same way, and they do not… you get angry, you feel slighted and this creates animosity and anger towards them. Over time all of the small things fester and become much larger, you begin taking all of this personally, and as a direct insult towards you and your selfhood. You begin to say things that are hurtful to your partner, trying to make a point and trying to get them to understand where you're coming from. Then slowly the passion dwindles, you become vengeful." If only he knew where I was coming from, why doesn't he understand what I mean? I would never say that!" Now the commitment you wanted so badly is as dust in the wind, and you move on to the next.
Ladies, Gentlemen, when you think you have found that special someone, the one you think you can make a commitment with, you then need to come from a space of pure compassion, a space of benevolence. When we can come from that space we nurture each other, and through this nurturing we support and help each other grow in ways that are beneficial to us all. Being selfless can work wonders in creating a relationship that stands the test of time. Working for the pleasure of your partner ends up pleasuring you in immeasurable ways, for when we strive to please each other first the pleasure in the end will be all ours.
Savanna, are you going after the wrong type of man? Will you find someone that is willing to commit to you? Well that depends on what you truly expect from the relationship, and your response to the relationship as it unfolds. Wanting to be a princess and finding that Knight in Shining Armor is a noble goal, and is totally doable. What needs to happen is changing the imaging processes you have within yourself. Not allowing your past experiences to color your future goals. Just because a man gives you a toothbrush does not mean you're in a committed relationship. It just may mean that you have bad breath and he wants to gently let you know this fact. This is where little communication, can go a long way. J
Lastly; when it comes to love and affection and finding a partner worthy of commitment, we must first learn to love ourselves and be confident within ourselves. This way when we commit to the relationship we can understand our partner and the motivations behind their actions. By understanding I mean recognizing that they will not respond to certain situations the same way that we would, and being okay with that. It's really difficult to understand exactly what our partners need or want without communication. We must strive to have open and clarified communication with each other at all times. This is the key to any long-term relationship; this is the key to positive reinforcement and a long-term commitment.
Love is a wonderful thing and we can find true love if we are open to it.Once found we must be open to new ideals and new ways of thinking. For only then can we understand each other with loving care and true desire. Strive not only this Valentine's Day but each and every day, to understand those around you whether it's a partner for a day or the commitment you long for. Strive to respond with love and gentleness… And with deep down compassion, and thus you to can gain the One you truly deserve! [Copyright Michael Schuessler 2012]
Smiles,
-Michael Schuessler-
Michael Schuessler, author of the sex and sensuality classic, ‘The Holy G-rail', Please visit his website, www.theholyg-rail.com to see all the different forms of Michaels works of creativity.
If you have any questions, in the sensual or sexual realm of life please E-mail me. (Use an alias if you'd like to keep your privacy). I also do private One on One consultations at 1-855-Holy G 4 U (1-855-465-9448) All calls are strictly confidential. If you have any questions or just need someone to listen, please call. I am here for you!
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