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Photograph by; Sherry Michael "Shining down on me"
Michael,
I read your previous article “Can Love Smother?” & I agree w/everything.
But what happens when u have been w/your partner for 31 years? The love is slowly dying between u both. U have been through so much together. Lost your only son. Then he stopped touching me years ago but I still took care of him. I got nothing. Most of the time...how can things ever get back to where they were?
I feel unloved & am trying to get us back. But he has to want that to. He said he does. But I don’t think it’s going to work. I am going to do whatever I can to save my marriage.
Do u have any suggestions for me? tyvm.. Life sure is cruel sometimes! This is a tuff!!
-Signed - Deborah A Ottinger, New York
Deborah,
Sometimes we must step back take a deep breath, we must attempt to bring the passion back into our lives, remember the good times the things that made you both happy.
You both have been through a lot, and everyone handles grief differently.
It may be time to re-open the channels of communication and talk to one and other. Just take baby steps at first, try to let the resentments and pain go, do not to dwell in the past, it will surly bring you down.
It’s a wonderful thing; keeping the dream of marriage alive, and one of the most important ingredients is passion, keeping that passion kindled, it adds youth and excitement to the marriage.
Try to support your partner rather than finding faults in the things he may or may not be doing. Talk to him about your needs, it sounds like he is willing to listen? Give him a chance to do just that. Tell him what you are feeling, but do this gently even passionately with love in your heart, this way he will respond in like manner. Try little play dates like you did 30 years ago, this just might reignite the passions you hold for each other.
You have been together for a long time experienced the good and the bad, it sounds like you really want to make it work and that truly is the first step.
It matters not what your sex life is like now, let the past go, If you still want it, and believe its possible your communication and excitement for each other will do nothing but grow. You will once again achieve deeper feelings, passions and greater vistas: mentally, spiritually and emotionally!
Smiles; Michael Schuessler
“Changing The World One Orgasm ~ At A Time”
Michael Schuessler, author of the sex and sensuality classic, ‘The Holy G-rail', Please visit his web site, www.theholyg-rail.com to see all the different forms of Michaels works of creativity, and submit you questions.
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