Even before the calamari had shown up, Karen knew she just wasn’t into Mark. The two met for their first date last week over cheap happy hour sushi at Kona. According to Karen, Mark did everything “right”. He opened her door, patiently listened to her rant about an obnoxious coworker, and politely insisted that she devour the last bite of spicy tuna. And while many women would jump at the chance to court a chopstick savvy gentleman, Karen has yet to return Mark’s phone call for a second date.
“When I met Mark, I thought he was okay, but the initial spark wasn’t there,” Karen states. “God knows why it’s so hard for me to find someone I actually want to keep dating. Maybe it has to do with pheromones. And I always do this. I always give guys a chance against my better judgment and then I have to figure out a nice way to let them down,” she confesses.
It’s been said that people generally know within the first thirty seconds of meeting someone whether or not they want to pursue a romantic relationship with that individual. While it’s common for women to draw out relationships that don’t feel quite right in hopes of cultivating some sort of amorous fantasy, the rest of us have learned that it’s better to be alone than with someone you don’t really like.
“Many of my friends would tell me that I’m too picky, or that I need to give guys more of a chance, but I just can’t do it. If I continue to hang out with some dude that I’m not really into, it sort of starts to feel like I’m betraying myself,” admits Karen.
Whether or not Karen’s pragmatic approach to dating is the right one, she insists that her past experiences with men have taught her valuable lessons about the meaning of relationships and the importance of independence. Yes, it may be taboo to enjoy a three course meal at Le Central solo or suck on your greasy popcorn fingers alone during a matinee at the Mayan, but it sure beats nursing false hopes that the person who gives you less butterflies than “The Situation” will suddenly morph into someone you actually fancy.