Narcissists can be the most loving caring people in the world when they need something from you. They promise the world to you and as long as they have not received what they are seeking from you, they will keep those promises. Once they do get what they want watch out because their true personality will not be anything like the person you fell in love with.
Are You a Good Target for a Narcissist?
You are especially susceptible to be the target of a narcissist if you:
- are beautiful,
- have money,
- have power,
- have control over something they want to control themselves (such as a high power position they can control through you like a puppet master) ,
- some specialized knowledge they want,
- or simply if you have some status.
Having any one of these and specially a combination of these will make you a great target of a narcissist.
Some Narcissistic Characteristics
These are some of the signs you are in the grasps of a narcissist:
- They are only happy if they are the center of attention and can get quite jealous if they perceive you or anyone are stealing their limelight,
- They cannot empathize with anyone but can fake it well for their gains,
- They are extremely driven to succeed and do not care whom they sacrifice to get there,
- They cannot take any confrontation and can turn quite nasty when confronted
What Can You Do If You Are Already in Love?
Well, they will not be “cured” of this personality. Logic and rationality do not exist for them unless they are the ones using them on you. Try these:
- Set Boundaries and stick to them. The actual fact that they cannot control the last bit of you may even keep them interested,
- Grow a thick skin and support yourself, they will attack from a raging fury to the most innocent subliminal ways to make you comply with their demands
- Withhold what they need from you and bargain with it.
- Do not challenge them or anger them. A narcissist can lash out violently if their fantasy world starts crumbling down. You cannot win an argument because they are living in a fantasy world.
- Know when to throw in the towel. It is hard, many aspects of this personality are so charming and loving, but they are destructive to your world. If you find yourself depressed or not looking forward to going home or having many negative feelings consider leaving. You cannot change them and you cannot cure them!
It is possible to have a relationship with a mild narcissist but it is tiring and stressful and far from easy. Yes the good times are over the top good but the bad times are more numerous than the good times unless you control the strings they want to control and do not give them all that they want. Your reality check should always be knowing that they only love themselves, they live a fantasy, and that you are just a tool they need for conquering the world.
Photo by Timothy Takemoto
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