Relationships in general can be difficult when they are good, but what happens if you are dating a commitment fobe?
Feelings of hurt get in the way, sometimes leading to being self-conscious about how one feels. Feeling get expressed but never answered by the other person. This station can be quite maddening and confusing.
A commitment fobe being asked a direct question and having to answer it directly is usually going to have a difficult time. A commitment fobe male or female may have issues in other parts of their lives with committing to many things. This type of behavior can be immaturity, not wanting to take responsibly for one’s own actions, but it is mainly driven by fear. Commitment fobes fear the unknown, are not confident in their own decisions or may lack the self confident or maturity that it takes to over come those fears. They constantly string a person along, so that they are not alone or feel lonely, only to run to the next person and do the same thing again for fear of getting hurt. A commitment fobe never really finds love or happiness in the relationship they are in because the person involved is usually upset with them most of the time, frustrated, or leaves them. Once the person has left the commitment fobe may feel upset and realize what they have lost, and try to get it back, only once again in the relationship acting the same way. Until the commitment fobe can truly overcome their own fears of being connected to another person, allowing that person in and giving of themselves, they will continue to be in and out of these unfulfilled relationships.
(Watch the video of Huge Jackman and Oprah Winfrey and his feeling on getting over fear)
The benefits for a person that is a commitment fobe is: It makes their life flexible, if they have to cut and run they can, they don’t get too emotionally involved thus avoiding pain. They can also decide what and who they want to spend their time with and if something better comes along they are not breaking plans because they never made them to begin with.
The negative would be for a commitment fobe, is the lack of connection with another person where there is a mutual respect for one another, a relationship that is built on friendship, love and partnership. They never really get close enough to another person because they are so fearful of getting hurt, to have an amazing bond, connection and deep love. All of their relationships and friends they are afraid to let their guard down and let others see who they truly are.
If you are dating a commitment fobe or one yourself, be aware of what you truly want in your life at the moment. As people get older, dating a committee fobe may get frustrating, the excitement of youthful lust goes away and people mature and gravitate towards real connections. If you are in a relationship that leaves you confused and frustrated then you may be dating a commitment fobe.