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Are negative feelings related to independence - dependence cycle?

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"Be as free people, using your freedom, not as a cover for doing wrong, but as slaves of God" 1 Peter 2:16 "For such freedom Christ set us free. Therefore, stand firm, and do not let yourselves be confined again in yoke of slavery" Galatians 5:1 If possible, as far as it depends on you, be peaceable with all men" Romans 12:18

Is there conflict between independence and dependence in relationships? In the life span of the individual, an infant depends on the caregiver for all objects; then by about age two the child could walk independently being able to explore and access objects. Perhaps with fear of losing the security, may vacillate between dependency and independence, running back to the caregiver for security- fortifying the attachment bond. One can observe this two year old manner in adult relationships.

In older adults, with reduced mobility and in many with the pains and medical issues, exploration, play and accessing objects is reduced to levels perhaps to that of childhood. Once an independent adults, when elderly the conflict may set in because of a return to dependency on care givers. The conflict between the past childhood dependencies, with adult independence to follow and back to elderly dependences on caregivers or spouses.

Of course conflict is not all embedded in the differences between levels of mobility and ability to access objects or resources. Mobility affects one's feelings; once unable, then able, then unable may set up a trajectory of childhood tantrums (frustrations), motive (freedom) and return to reduced mobility (frustrations).

Curious is this fundamental truth in the life span of the individual interwoven in the care giving relationships of couples, and perhaps many other relations. On the surface, the relief from the bounds of childhood frustrations in adulthood may fortify the frustration feelings so to have it again, and so to have relief again. This is apparent during teenage years too when cycles of dependency - (hyper)independence (rebellion) - return to dependency may even manifest in cycles of paradoxical drug dependency and sobriety- about that many may know. Following many years independence, dependency may set in to conflict with the past among elderly. As a result many may experience frustration, helplessness and sadness.

To what extent the troubling feelings in adult relationships rests on the above cycle of dependence - independence - dependence?



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