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We can all identify with the relationship bridge, the fear of crossing it, the curiosity about what lies on the other side, the uncertainty of its strength and durability and the question as to how long it will take to cross.
The relationship bridge is the space between your last serious relationship and your next serious relationship. It is the gap in your heart that you hastily want to fill because its so wide and empty. This bridge is one that can seem endless and can be painful to endure. So as emotionally vulnerable creatures, we tend to find something to fill that space and time. This process is also known as the rebound phase. In this phase we eat, exercise, pick up habits good or bad, find a hobby, work overtime, and most commonly serial-date to fill that void we feel inside, and to keep our minds busy and off of our states of loneliness. Depending on how hurt we were on the other side of the bridge, we may become either non-expectant and reluctant or anxious to explore the seemingly greener other side.
When engineers, architects and construction workers build bridges, they take into the account the heaviness of traffic, the location, the distance, the scenery, the materials going into making it, and the cost among many other factors. When we work on mending our heart and occupying our time, we take into consideration how many men or women it would take to heal us, maybe we should relocate for a better choice in companions, how long will it take to completely heal, if there are any good options remaining in the dating world, how much time and commitment will we have to put into finding the right person, and how much will this cost us? How much time, energy, money, emotion, love and attention will filling the gap from one side of our bridge to another, cost us? We all want a sturdiness, reliability, constancy, sincerity, trust, security that we won't fall, a clear destination, and companionship on our journey so that we won't lose our bearings, fall and hit rock bottom. We also need barriers and railings so when we get sidetracked we won't go too far or completely fall off, but instead stay within our boundaries and stay aligned with our destiny. Building a bridge that will stand the test of time doesn't happen overnight. Its hard to substitute a flimsy fill-in for a sturdy bridge when one desires all of those qualities. So is it justifiable to assume that its better to be patient and enjoy the ride of dating, rather than to rush and risk falling into perilous depths? I think so.
Fill-ins can cause us more insecurity, pain and hard feelings than if we were to stay the course in preparation for a sure thing. Instead of becoming extremists in our actions while enduring the time and space love brings, know that its not unusual to be anxious or want to quickly cross that bridge to fill the void in your heart. Its a normal emotional ride that everyone who has experienced a lack of love has taken. However, with clear focus and healthy choices in life, love, healthy passions and productive activities can help you endure the bridge between relationships.
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