You can mine the caverns of the keenest brain and never recover a single gem that resembles the mythical “good pickup line.” This phrase is as oxymoronic as selfless CEO, honest politician, lazy Mexican and ugly Swede. Because let’s face it: Mexicans are the hardest workers you’ve ever seen. Don’t be racist. And pickup lines are anything but good. Lines are cheap gimmicks designed for commercials and soap operas, not intimate interaction with a female. When you spit a line at a girl, you are telling her: (A) “I thought of what I would say before I knew you existed (B) because I’m incapable of charismatic spontaneity, (C) which indicates that I will never surprise you with anything good.” Sometimes you have take some old school June Cleaver wisdom and just be yourself.
Apply this adage by behaving relaxed and casual, not by saying whatever crosses your mind. There’s no right way to say, “I’d love to make your boobies swing in opposite directions,” no matter how you phrase it. Sometimes your self is more than a wee bit creepy. Check creepy self at the door for a while and approach every girl respectfully like she is, let’s say, your buddy’s sister.
Everyone knows it’s the man’s job to engage and pursue, but first and foremost, it is the man’s job to charm and disarm. It’s not impossible meet then set up a date with a girl in a single interaction, but that perfect scenario is pretty freaking rare. If you go for the coup de gras every time you think a woman is interested then you’ll lose more than you win, drown in a sea of rejection, and your ego will go bankrupt eventually. Then before you know it you’re the Nicholas Cage of dating – pouncing on every second rate job that comes your way.
Thousands of years of ancestral horndogs have wired our brains and bodies for dating and mating. There is an inherent understanding in men that guides us in our pursuits so long as you don’t let nerves get the best of you. Too often, guys give compliments to strange women in a way that bleeds desperation all over the soon-to-be crime scene. Your instincts to let a lovely female know that you are interested are correct, but you need to pace yourself and let her realize that she is interested too before dialing up the aggression. Plant a seed of familiarity and water it for a while before trying to snatch the fruit.
Ideally and in most cases, the woman you really want is someone you encounter on a regular basis. She works with you, teaches you, or blends your protein smoothie on leg day. So pace yourself; there’s no rush. Have fun, light conversations. Before you fish for digits, give her time to realize that she enjoys talking with you. This isn’t prom; there’s no deadline, and there’s no reason to act like Corky Romano geeked on cocaine.
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