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Any suggestions for singles looking for love without using online dating?

Somebody help me find love!
Somebody help me find love!
Getty Images - Donata Pizzi Photographer

Recently someone posed the aforementioned question in search of ways for singles to connect with one another without the use of the Internet. Clearly they had some trepidation regarding using online dating sites or they had some bad experiences with those they chose to connect with on a site. The following contains some alternatives however I also would never recommend someone ignore using modern technology.

One may hire a matchmaking service, attend speed dating events, attend church singles programs, rely on friends and family for introductions, sign up with Single Cruises which is a site that books cruises for singles and if one lives near a large metropolitan area there are always events taking place where singles gather.

Having the Right Mindset

The first goal should be to meet new people who are likeminded. Truth be told a lot of people hate the dating process whether it's online or offline. They want to "fast forward" to commitment or marriage. This causes them to be impatient and frustrated which often leads to mate selection mistakes. You have to be happy with who you are and where you are to attract others. Your subconscious mind will never allow you to succeed at anything you despise! Dating is supposed to be a fun sociable activity that may "evolve" into a serious relationship. Be willing to date more than one person until you make a choice to be exclusive but be honest. Companies interview multiple candidates before filling a position.

Bear in mind each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse. As the saying goes; If you want something different you have to do something different. The less options one allows for them self the more difficult it is to find what they are looking for. Personally I believe every single person should keep online dating as one of their options especially if they are over the age of 30.

There is Always More Than One Way to Reach a Destination

One of the problems many people have is they have an "all or nothing approach" to dating. If they try online dating that’s all they will do. The reality is it should be just one of their options for "getting out there".

Most people do not know how to use online dating for their benefit. Online dating is nothing more than a tool for people to meet other people. Much like a fork which can be used to eat a garden salad or a slice of double fudge cake. However an overweight person never blames their weight gain on their fork!

And yet if people have bad dating experiences they will blame "online dating" instead of examining (their) choice of sites and the people they chose to meet. They rather believe they're the only worthwhile person on the site. Little do they know others on the site are saying the same thing! You are always responsible for your choices whether it be online or offline. Avoid the "free sites" if you're serious and always use good commonsense when meeting strangers whether online or offline.

Many people refuse to do any research regarding dating websites! No one would consider a stay at Motel 6 to be equivalent to having a night at The Ritz Carlton simply because they both offer cable TV and beds! It pays to do some research to find which site is more in line with what you are looking for. Dating Advice is website that provides pros and cons for the top 10 online dating sites along with a breakdown of members by gender.

Distinct Requirements

One should not overlook "niche" dating sites especially if there are strong "must have" preferences. CNBC provided one list recently of 12 unique online dating sites. They cover everything from must love pets to political party affiliation and even equestrian lovers. Naturally there are age, race, and LGBT sites.

Birds of a Feather

In addition to having online dating as one option It would also pay to check out This is not a dating site but primarily a site for those who have common interests to get together to meet once a month or weekly. Interests range from wine tasting, yoga, hiking, meditation, dancing, theatre goers, writers, book clubs, and so on. There are also singles networking and mixer groups as well.

The great thing about is it allows people to get to know one another gradually over time by attending meetings without the pressure of "mate seeking". You're basically there to enjoy a shared activity with members of those groups. Odds are there will be single people in every group. At worst case you make some new friends who may know of someone you'd be interested in meeting.

The bottom line is in order to meet people you have to get out of the house!

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