Sometimes, this time of year sucks. The shopping, endless family parties, over-eating, the crowds, endless well-wishing from people who can't be bothered to give two craps about you the rest of the year...all of these things are what make the season hard to get through for thousands each year.* So from your friendly Rock Music Examiner, a 2010 re-up of a mixdisc idea I first made in 2007. Each song is complete with a link to a youtube video for your viewing pleasure....or displeasure, however you want to look at it. Play this at your next Festivus party!
This song is on here to get you in the mood to bash heads in, I call it the "Black Friday" survival kit, keeping the anger up and getting it out as you rock out with some epic metal.
There hasn't been a better punk Christmas song than this since "Oi! to the World." Discussion topics include a grandpa defecating after eating a lot of hot dogs on Labor Day, and only having wrapped two f**king presents on Christmas Eve. 0:41 of pure anti-holiday joy!
Okay, seriously, there is nothing more awesome than hearing a metal version of this 1958 classic from Chuck Berry, but instead vocalized by the god known as Lemmy. Complete with Dave and Billy, the amazing that was in the room at this time just makes one weep. But it gets better.
Okay, screw the Flyleaf Seasonal Affective Disorder version, Fall Out Boy freakin KILLED this one on the expanded version of The Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack. The video tagged to this is incredible in quality. The song itself is passioned and the remake by FOB is just as astounding and matched to the film, this just makes it even better. I hope someday Disney makes it with the greatest versions of these songs would be so awesome!
These three tracks, when mixed right in CD Architect, made for something so great I just had to keep all of them in here. First off is a bit debating the difference between a hardcore and a metal beat. Then, there's just something inherently awesome about cranking up a song where the pre-chorus is "Crush your balls, with a sleigh" and then the chorus starts off "Jingle bell, jingle bell metal, f**kin' sh** up with a double bass pedal." The random solo is just sick in this song. I love it. Silent Night is a screamo fest that is just great.
Oh yeah, the classic song about banging a sexy Mrs. Claus...I can't say anything better about this song. Fair warning: the video has some adult content...but totally worth it.
The greatest tongue-in-cheek song about the holidays. It's that right mix of Burl Ives, the Frosty the Snowman special, and Denis Leary's brash comedy. Something about using the words "my collection of Asian porn" just makes me laugh so hard every time I hear it.
This song always sums up the holidays for me, I make no bones about it, I go through the motions just to see the joy on my children's faces. This needs to be added to rock radio holiday rotations, alongside "Santa Claus and his Old Lady."
Okay, #4 was awesome because of the fact that it's cover truly captured the feeling of the original but remade it great. This one is just an awesome revision of the original with the minor-keyed punk that Rise Against is so famous for. People say they sold out, I say they wouldn't be on Nightmare Revisited if it weren't for changing their business model. It's not like they changed themselves to go along with the fame.
Now THIS is what I call Christmas...sick riffs, amazing drums, and some of the most growly vocals this side of Lemmy...too much win to discuss...just click the video and ENJOY!
This song is the metal answer to #10. Psychostick brings their Primus-style metal to the holidays on this 2007 outing. The entire holiday EP they put it is epic. Get it!
14. Holiday - Weezer
This is one song from the Blue Album that I just can't ever get past, it's great, airy, and filled with hope, kind of the anti-thesis to this christmas album. Still a great song, and I love it. One of my most recommended from the Blue Album...still just as awesome 16 years later.
The final offering from We Wish You a Metal X-mas, but by far not the least. I know Dio is like the godfather of the \m/ metal horns, and to hear him singing this Christian standard is a stretch, but damn this man knows how to work his pipes. Too much awesome, if this doesn't get you through your holiday, nothing will.
I could have stopped after Dio, but damn, this song is too damn funny. A song about not getting what you wanted for Christmas. Like a new guitar with EMGs and a whammy bar. Or a Boba Fett in original packaging.
So there you have it. 16 songs over 46:49. Not a Christmas Standard among the bunch. There could have been more, there could have been less...but I think I got it tuned in right...we'll see what happens next year if I want to make a new one. Get a hold of these tracks and make your own!
And a Merry F**king Christmas to all!!!