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Anonymous Mountaineers Sweep Rails

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Bats Quiet as Rails Drop Doubleheader
By Nate Cash and Jon Kaufman

It was a tough day at the plate for the Rails Sunday afternoon when they welcomed the Montreat Mountaineers. Before we tell you about today’s doubleheader, please allow us to explain that the Montreat team only supplies last names on their roster, thus we decided to fabricate a first name for your enjoyment.

Mountaineers starter Baseball Fann went seven shutout innings surrendering only five hits with four walks and two strikeouts. Johns Hopkins gave Fann all the run support he would need early on with a two-run homer to right field in the top of the first inning off Rails starter Michael Mnich (Alderson & Broaduss). Mnich would settle down and proceed to give up just one more run over the next four innings, ending his outing on three runs over five innings. The Mountaineers took advantage of a fielding error in the top of the sixth to tack on two more runs sealing the 5-0 victory.

Offensive opportunities were few and far between in game two of the afternoon as well. The Mountaineers struck first in the top of the third inning as Basketball Jones knocked in left fielder Brady Bassford (rising from anonymity) with an RBI single. The lead did not last long however as Rails outfielder Griffin Stanley (Eastern Menonnite) picked up an RBI single of his own, and would come around to score on a Will Kaufman (Cal U of PA) sacrifice fly. Pitching took over the next two innings as the offenses were silenced until the Mountaineers patiently worked four walks, two of which came with the bases loaded giving Montreat two more runs and a 3-2 lead. DK( Don King) Keane sealed the deal on the mound, working a scoreless inning and a third to secure the victory.
It was a frustrating day for the Rails (and this reporter) who will look to rebound and find some offense Wednesday night as they go on the road to take on the Piedmont All-stars at 7:00. Hopefully, the Mountaineers will bring their full names next time they visit friendly Salem. In the words of the real DK, “only in America”.

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