There is a growing number of people who are just simply fed up with their job. Whether you're working more hours due to a bad economy, or just simply hate your job after being informed that no one is receiving a raise, people are growing very tired of the workplace.
When people get angry and stop caring, you begin to notice how ridiculous and annoying many of your coworkers are.
Dudley B. Dawson is no stranger to observing his fellow coworkers. Here are a collection of articles celebrating the 7 habits of various people he's had the privelege of working with:
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Slackers
There is a common misperception in the workplace that effective and productive people fit into the go-getter, proactive, or highly organized mold. While it may be true that these people are often rewarded for their seemingly productive ways, their productivity levels are actually well below those of the effective slacker.
> View the 7 habits of highly effective slackers
The Seven Habits of Typical Bad Managers
You wake up on Sunday morning and all you can think about is not wanting to go to work on Monday. You feel sick when you drive to work on Monday morning. You sometimes wonder what it would feel like to tell your manager to f-off and walk out of the office. If this describes you, it's more than likely that you have a horrible boss.
> View the 7 habits of typical bad managers
The Seven Habits of Highly Disengaged Employees
There is a glitch in large corporations that cannot be fixed. The glitch is an office filled with disengaged employees. In the movie Office Space, The Bobs 'fixed the glitch'. In this case, the glitch was Milton, a worthless employee, who had been laid off but still came into the office everyday and received a paycheck for five years. Milton was not a disengaged employee, but in the world of large corporations, disengaged employees are like Milton -- they show up to work, but they shouldn't get paid.
> View the 7 habits of highly disengaged employees
The Seven Habits of Highly Motivated Coworkers (and why you hate them)
Wikipedia says that motivation is "the activation or energization of goal-oriented behavior". A motivated coworker reads this definition and immediately associates it with work. An indifferent or unmotivated coworker associates the definition with more than just work. Some people live to work. Others work to live. The people that work to live have goals that aren't career oriented. They simply work so they have the financial capability to fulfill their goals in life. As a result, these people often despise the behaviors exhibited by motivated coworkers.
> View the 7 habits of highly disengaged employees
The Seven Habits of Defective Conference Call Leaders
If you're a member of a large corporation that has employees spanning across multiple geographic areas, you are no stranger to the conference call. Convenient, yes. Productive, no. Beyond the fact that 75% of the participants are not listening, it seems quite obvious why conference calls are unproductive: There seems to be a large number of people that have no idea how to lead a conference call.
> View the 7 habits of defective conference call leaders
The Seven Habits of Highly Annoying Emailers
Working in a corporate job requires frequent use of email. As a result, "normal" employees have to deal with a variety of highly annoying coworkers who don't understand or accept the social norms of work email. > View the 7 habits of highly annoying emailers.
The Seven Habits of Disrespectful Work Poopers
Dispensing of waste at work shouldn't be so gross. If it weren't for disrespectful workplace poopers, your work bathroom would be a luxurious vacation spot.
> View the 7 habits of disrespectful work poopers
The Seven Habits of Morbidly Obese Coworkers
According to sources all over the Internet, the common workplace keeps getting fatter. As a member of the corporate workforce, I don't need the news to inform me of this trend. I'm surrounded by them and I observe them on a daily basis.
> View the 7 habits of morbidly obese coworkers
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Interns
These young and innocent newbies are excited to show the world what they're made of. Their boss is excited too. They've been stockpiling monotonous tasks for the last three months, and if an intern doesn't play their cards right, it could end up being the worst three months of their life. However, if you play your cards right, they'll be begging to keep you; all while having your heels kicked up in the cube.
> View the 7 habits of highly effective interns
The Seven Habits of Highly Incapable Technotards
They say that technology has a learning curve. Technotards are the reason for this. A technotard is someone who is severely technology impaired, and more importantly, completely incapable of learning. They ignore simple logic. If their TV is unplugged, they spend two hours staring at their cable box. Staring is a favorite troubleshooting technique among the technotarded crowd. The simple concept of "If x=y, then A, else B" is simply too much to handle. Sadly, many of Corporate America's cubes (and all of its offices) are filled with these technotards.
> View the 7 habits of highly incapable technotards
The Seven Habits of Highly Anal Employees
Every office has an overly orderly employee. A person who is compulsive to a fault. They mystify colleagues, and their behavior is often driven by imaginary fears. View the 7 habits of highly anal employees.
The Seven Habits of Highly Arrogant Employees
Offices are filled with arrogant employees who believe they are better and more vital to the organization. They interrupt coworkers, and they make the office a complete buzz kill. They are typically power hungry people who brag to everyone around them, and they are usually the poorest performers at the office. They are too busy feeling important.
> View the 7 habits of highly arrogant employees
The Seven Habits of Highly Spiritual Employees
The behavior of highly spiritual employees goes above and beyond having a nice cross or cross stitch (cross stitches for the rest of us). Their behavior is quite unique in work related settings. This article celebrates the Sui generis of highly spiritual employees.
> View the 7 habits of highly spiritual employees
The Seven Habits of Employees Highly Addicted to Fantasy Football
Anyone working in a cubicle is well aware of this. Most offices are filled with employees participating in a fantasy football league with other coworkers. Today marks the first day where your coworkers will pretend to be NFL experts and fill your office with annoying commentary. > View the 7 habits of coworkers addicted to fantasy football
The Seven Habits of Highly Addicted Smokers at the Workplace
Their population might be shrinking, but smokers are still prevalent at the workplace. Smokers are a unique bunch, and to celebrate their behaviors, click here to view the seven habits of highly addicted smokers at the workplace.
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'Seven Habits' is a recurring article appearing in Dudley B. Dawson's Life in the Cubicle column at completely random moments.
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