This is the time of year when I start to reflect on my sobriety . . . you see, the anniversary of it all was April 18, 1994. It is difficult to believe almost 20 years have passed since that day when I woke up and knew that it was over. My ‘moment of clarity’ showed me the façade that I had so carefully cultivated for you in the outside world was shattered, that all pretense of normalcy had been lost in an alcoholic haze where I no longer knew if it was 5:30 AM or 5:30 PM. I surrendered. I was done.
When I began recovery, I was a lost soul. I had not always been this way. Before the drinking began, I had been a sensitive child attuned to the spiritual world through books and music. I remember one instance in high school when we were assigned to write a series of poems; and I sat and wrote all of them in one sitting and later received a very high grade for them. But, once the drinking began, all of this, the reading, and the writing, my interest in music and in singing, went right out the proverbial window!
Slowly, however, into recovery, my love of reading has returned as has my desire to write. My love of music is also returning albeit slowly as if it has been buried deeper. What has come in has been my connection to spirit in the form of psychic ability. What was once, in childhood, just a glimmer is now fully alive and awake first brought forth by the Angels when I was about 6 or 7 years sober.
So, why am I telling you all of this? First of all, because I want to let it be known that there is a long term solution to the disease of addiction.* My initial path was through the 12 Steps; and then I became very involved with many types of alternative healing, in particular, the healing I received as a result of my connection to the Angelic Realm, to Angels and to their healing power.
It is said, and I believe, that the basis of addiction is hatred of the self. Somewherealong the line, something happens to us and we literally turn on ourselves. This is not conscious; but the response is to turn to the addiction as a solution because we cannot live with ourselves any other way.
For me, what I have learned is that while I inherited the predisposition genetically for addiction, the actual self hatred ‘piece’ occurred when I was five; and there was a life altering incident which traumatized me. This activated the genes of my addiction which would later alter my life.
Getting well for me has not been a linear process. The 12 Steps were instrumental in helping me get sober and stay sober long enough to recognize that there were otherunderlying issues which needed to be addressed through outside means. Although I went through 9 years of therapy, the Angels really helped me, as I sat in deep meditation, to clear the deepest aspects of my confused thinking and the disruptions in my energy patterns which had caused the problems in the first place.
(Bear in mind, that unlike conventional medicine which often treats symptoms, the Angels will treat the cause of the issue at its root. In my case, the problem occurred in the first and second dimensions or root and sacral chakra energy centers both of which had developmental energy issues due to early trauma.)
This healing represented an unlearning of one of the most basic premises of what I thought I knew; the very default of my belief system; for what I thought I knew was based on this ‘picture’ I had of myself which showed me as defective, a sort of second best in the scheme of things. This would go on to color my life in a myriad of ways . . . self sabotage, poor personal relationships, etc.
We are not defective . . .
Now, I find, with the help of the Angels, that I am not defective, never was, that allof that was a child’s illusion not ever disbursed in adulthood due to my alcoholism and the shame which kept me from healing some significant parts of my life. With the Angels’ help, I have been able to identify and release areas where shame** previously blocked me from discussing, sometimes even accessing parts of my life which needed to be brought to the Light to be healed.
Which brings me to the next reason for writing about my experience with addiction and the Angels. I drank and did prescription pills for 26 years. In the course of all of this time, some terrible things, shameful and downright scary things happened. I am absolutely blessed to be alive; and I know that I am alive through Grace, pure and simple.
During the 26 years of my addiction, I did the things addicts do. I had three DUI arrests, was stopped more times than I can count, (and let go), was with people I should not have been with, in places I should not have been. Etc, etc. In general not what one would normally consider Angel material . . .
My point is: All of us have Guardian Angels around us. Our Angels want to help us; and they want to guide us back to our life’s blueprint; that is, the scenario we established for ourselves before we incarnated. So, if you are concerned about whether Angels are around you, have no concern in this regard.
The issue is: Your Guardian Angel(s)*** will not interfere in your life without your permission. You have free will. Thus, you have free rein to have a wonderful life or a techicolor nightmare all on your own. Or, you may elect to request assistance from your Divine Helpers, the Angels, who will step in to help if you ask. The only other time they will step in (unasked) is if your life is threatened and it is not your time.
Some additional resources:
THE ANONYMOUS PEOPLE is a feature documentary film about the over 23 million Americans living in long-term recovery from addiction to alcohol and other drugs. Its purpose is to bring awareness to the public about long term recovery and to start to change public perception about addiction so that treatment becomes less stigmatized and more available without shame-based overtones. Film produced by Transforming Youth Recovery; Hazelden/Betty Ford Foundation; Adcare Hospital; Silverseal Corp.
** For more on shame and its effects: the work and research of Brene’ Brown : “As I look back on what I’ve learned about shame, gender, and worthiness, the greatest lesson is this: If we’re going to find our way out of shame and back to each other, vulnerability is the path and courage is the light. To set down those lists of what we’re supposed to be is brave. To love ourselves and support each other in the process of becoming real is perhaps the greatest single act of daring greatly.”
― Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
*** For more on contacting your Angels, for beginners, I recommend the You Tube video, ‘Meet Your Guardian Angels’ by Dr. Doreen Virtue.