Lord, I am still so amazed that You have been with me for 20 years. I am Yours and You are mine. I remember when I felt lonely and lost. I would cry myself to sleep many nights wondering why I’m here. What on earth was I created for? I felt like a failure and a complete disaster at living. Who can love me the way I need to be loved?
When my earthly father stepped into eternity, I felt like I died a thousand deaths. I could barely breathe moment by moment. I never thought pain could go so deep and linger so long. It seemed impossible to live each day. But somehow I’d get through the day and end up back on my pillow weeping until I fell asleep.
But You were there. You held me those nights. Without me realizing it, You held me in Your love and comforted me; all while saving every one of my tears. Those tears never had a chance to evaporate and return to me ever again. No more storms in my soul…the tears drained the flood. I didn’t realize it for many years, not until now.
The prophets spoke of Your coming. You’re in our history; You were the talk of the town. You walked this earth and changed lives without number. When You were crucified; it was only the beginning of our lives…it’s taken us a while to see that.
You are amazing. You knew I would need You; really need You. No more shallow prayers for help only to turn around and break every promise. I’m wooed by Your love and hypnotized by Your faithfulness. You haven’t betrayed me and I trust that You never will. I found my way in You. I found my truth in You. I found my life in You. It’s not a relationship on this earth that has beckoned me; it’s my first and forever love affair with You that I couldn’t find for so many years.
I couldn’t remember where I left my heart. So I kept looking to those around me and it never made any sense. But that day…our day; when You reminded me that it was You who held it. Oh my God, my Savior…it’s been You the whole time! You have held my heart since the beginning of time. As soon as I heard Your voice and felt Your love fill the room, all my doubts and fears left me. I am Yours and You are mine.
With every ounce of my body, soul and spirit I love You Jesus and I thank You. ♥