Why is it that after a break up, the one person you want to comfort you is the one person who hurt you in the first place? Well…the answer is very simple – love makes people do crazy things.
With Valentine’s Day just a few days away, a lot of people have love on the brain. It can be depressing around holidays such as Valentine’s Day for those people who will be spending the day alone. For my friend, let’s call him “Paul,” it will be a very hard day, as it has been only two weeks since his girlfriend broke up with him. This break-up came as a shock to him - as it was after three years of ups and downs with his girlfriend, which included multiple break-ups and times that they were dating other people. Her excuse for this break-up was that she “just wants to be friends.” After seeing how upset Paul is over this recent break-up, I asked him if he would take her back, even after everything they have been through, and everything she has done to hurt him. His response: “I’d go back [to her], even if it’s not the right thing to do.”
Clearly, he’s a man in love. But after hearing his response, I thought about how many times I’ve seen people get back together with their ex’s, knowing how unhealthy their relationship is or that another break-up is inevitable in the near future. So I wonder why do we do this to ourselves? Is it because we are in love? Or is it because we are afraid to be alone?
I have felt what Paul feels. It is almost like living and breathing just for that one person. Well the thing we don’t understand until after we make it through the break-up alive is that we shouldn't live and breathe just for the one we love. There is more to life. Love can and will make people do and think crazy things. Even if it means a person enduring repeated arguments and pain just to be with the one they "love." Is it really worth it?
My advice to Paul, and to anyone else out there that has been left heart broken this Valentine’s Day, is not to go back. Don't fall back into a relationship that has ended multiple times already. If the relationship was a strong one, and the trust and commitment were there, the relationship would not fall to pieces.
With Valentine’s Day just a few days away, don’t dwell on your past relationships. Don’t spend the day thinking that you wish you could be spending it with this one person who put you through misery. Instead, focus on yourself. Do something that you enjoy. Be with friends. If my break-up taught me anything, it taught me how to be a strong independent woman. My life and my happiness come first now.
Years from now you may look back on the devastation you feel right now and think, "What was wrong with me? Was I delusional?" I can tell you right now that no, you were not delusional. You were just crazy in love.