By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
One of the saddest consequences of divorce is the new alone-time, getting used to being single again. The holiday season can be a particularly challenging time, especially when friends and neighbors are busy with their own family gatherings.
Among the greatest challenges for the newly single is avoiding self-pity. Overwhelmed by a sense of isolation, or feeling undervalued as a person or a parent, can often result in making poor choices that compound your feeling of aloneness, emptiness or low self-esteem.
Turning toward a support group of friends can be really helpful when these feelings arise. Seeking out a counselor or divorce coach can also provide advice and new resources for creating alternative holiday options and traditions.
There’s a big difference between being alone and being lonely. Loneliness is a state of mind that can occur even in the midst of a large family gathering. If you’re afraid of being alone or experiencing the emptiness of feeling lonely, get professional support to help you understand your fears and redirect them to a state of greater self-confidence.
With the right mind-set, we can discover many pluses in being alone. Enjoying your own company is a great feeling when you don’t “need” to be with others to make you happy. Indulge yourself in books, films, nature, music, aromas and other things that make you feel good inside and out. Making time for YOU is a healthy way to express self-love.
When it’s time for company, remember there are hundreds of singles living in your community. Use the internet, social media networks, MeetUp groups, newspapers and other local resources to find out about events, parties, dinners, cruises or other activities specifically for singles.
Don’t hide your head in the sand. Get out, volunteer at community organizations and you’ll find new friends and ways to enjoy yourself without a partner. Remember, you’re not alone. Many others out there will be happy to meet you, especially at this time of year!
*** *** ***
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a Dating & Relationship Coach, co-creator of the DatingRescue eCourse for women, Mastering the Challenges of Dating: A Success Formula for Men and co-author of 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating At 40, 50 & Yes, 60! Her programs are available at www.womendatingafter40.com, www.womendatingrescue.com and www.mensdatingformula.com.