It’s a weird news day today. For example this surely will be the first Super Bowl powered by deer antlers. But first let’s get the strange bed fellows out of the way.
GOP heir apparent Marco Rubio decided to seize the offensive on the immigration issue. Republicans have had it taken to them on the last bunch of issues so although his strategy his risky, it could work.
That’s because el Presidente seemed to be channeling Rubio as he pointed out that 25% of illegals tend to start businesses and participate in the free market. But that still leaves 75% here for the free candy and Obamacare and that’s going to be one big el problema because we no have enough dinero! Points to Marco though for getting the GOP off of defense for a change. Rubio would get 50% of the Hispanic vote but otherwise unless Republicans promise a free ride too they are absolutamente stuck with 30% of the vote.
We need to talk about Senator Bob Menendez even though the Media doesn’t talk about pervy Senator Bob Menendez. But here’s the facts. FBI agents late Tuesday night raided the West Palm Beach business of an eye doctor suspected of providing free trips and even underage Dominican Republic prostitutes to U.S. Sen. Bob Menendez, D-N.J. The Senator has denied what he calls the “fallacious allegations.”
Oops! Can you hear the voice of Chris Hansen in your head? “Well Senator, this is a show on pedophiles do you have anything else you’d like to say”.
Meanwhile in Kentucky, Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R) could face a challenge in 2014 from someone you may have heard of. Ashley Judd is said to be gearing up for a run for the US Senate. Judd made the circuit at last week’s inaugural festivities and many believe she’s set to announce a run.
The Hollywood actress is to the left of Trotsky but slightly to the right of Marx, which still may not bode well in rural Kentucky. Judd recently described her state’s mining industry this way, “ it’s state-sanctioned, federal government-supported, coal industry-operated rape.” But hey, if Al Franken can get in there then I guess so can Judd.
Okay are you ready for the deer antler Bowl? Sports Illustrated has published an in depth look into a company called Sports with Alternatives to Steroids (SWATS). The bottom line is that crazy sauce linebacker Ray Lewis may have used deer antler spray to help heal his torn tricep injury this year. The problem is that everyone knows that deer antlers are on the NFL’s banned substance list. You did know that right?
Here’s what SWAT’s says about the Bambi stuff. "It's converted in the liver to IGF-1." IGF-1, or -insulin-like growth factor, is a natural, anabolic hormone that stimulates muscle growth. "We have deer that we harvest out of New Zealand," Key said. "Their antlers are the fastest-growing substance on planet Earth . . . because of the high concentration of IGF-1. We've been able to freeze dry that out, extract it, put it in a sublingual spray that you shake for 20 seconds and then spray three [times] under your tongue. .” Maybe he did use the deer antler stuff because Lewis has been just killing them out there!
By the way guys, DO NOT CLEAN THE HOUSE DURING THE SUPER BOWL! A new study determined that men who did chores got less sex from their wives.
"Husbands who spend more time doing traditionally female chores -- such as cooking, cleaning, and shopping -- reported having less sex than those who do more masculine tasks, said the study in the American Sociological Review".
Did you miss yesterday's "All you need to know"? We talked about the mesmerizing powers of Hillary's glasses. See what you missed.