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All the single (and taken) ladies - listen up

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Recently a friend brought up an excellent point about being a young, single woman. In a nutshell (help! I'm in a nutshell!) she mentioned there being a lot of crap that comes with it. 

Exhibit A: You're having lunch with a friend (who is in a relationship) and they tell you for the 13th time that they have someone they'd like you to meet. BUT THIS TIME IT'S DIFFERENT! They know the last guy they hooked you up with turned out to be a bust and you had nothing in common with them, which should have been obvious considering his screen name was CatholicJedi, but you really need to give this one a chance. Come on, don't you want to meet someone? You don't want to be an old, single, haggard broad forever do you? Your eggs are going to dry up soon!

Fact: We (usually) do not feel left out just because we're not in a relationship. We do, however, feel like a charity case when you feel obligated to hook us up with every unattached guy you or your boyfriend meet. Being single is not a disease and it won't rub off on you. It's not contagious. It won't kill us. Unless we're the bitter cranky single girl who scares men off by acting like they're "the one" and she will settle for anyone, we probably do not need help finding someone. However, if they are excessively attractive, own 3 classic muscle cars and have a summer house in Venice Beach, throw 'em at us! We won't protest.

Exhibit B: Your married-with-children friend asks if you'll watch her kids since she will be gone at a work conference all day and her husband can't stay home all day with them. As soon as you get there she is on her way out, and he's lounging on the couch not quite ready to go wherever it is he has to be. Your friend insists he gets up and leaves since you're there and "what's the point in you both being there?" He might as well go and get his stuff done, right? All the while giving him the wonky stink eye saying "I don't want you hanging out with my single female friends when I'm not around, now get your arse up and do something before I have a mental breakdown at the thought of you alone with my single friend. Nevermind the fact that we hang out together all the time and she's completely repulsed by the fact that I married you considering you're as useful and appealing as a big tub of moldy peaches, but regardless, I don't want you in the room together." Oh yea. The homewrecker stance. 

Fact: Single does not equal slut. We're not out to seduce every man we see and we don't assume every man wants us because we're single. We are not a code orange terror threat and we have zero interest in tearing apart your relationship.

Exhibit C: Your friend is having problems with her boyfriend and confides in you because it's "different" talking to you than it is to the other girls who are in relationships because all it leads into is them complaining about their relationship. So they go to you, the perpetually single girl who hasn't had a relationship in over a year yet is more capable of giving sound and unbiased relationship advice than the people who are in solid relationships.

Fact: We give good advice because usually, the topic of conflict in your relationship is one of many reasons why we're single. We're tired of dealing with relationships that stress us out, yet we understand how hard it is to deal with and know that advice like "dump him" is not reasonable. We will listen and we will help you, and hopefully won't change the topic to our problems. Or we will at least wait until you're finished. Then we'll go on to tell you how we don't know what to do between James, Travis and Mark, and we know we're leading them all on but it's so hard to choose just one of the many charming and attractive men that want to court us so badly. Do you think you can help us decide?

Sigh. Being single isn't always easy, either.

***Of course there are exceptions. Sometimes single does equal slut, sometimes women want to be hooked up whenever the occasion comes around, and sometimes we give horrible advice such as "well at least you're not single!!!" But for the sake of this article let's just put that all behind us, ok?***

Comments

  • Jeney 4 years ago

    You summed up my feelings on this PERFECTLY. Really. I have nothing to add.

    A goddess, you are. (Sorry... the CatholicJedi screen name got me going)

  • Kim - Royal Oak Nightlife 4 years ago

    You forgot the: We're not all crazy exhibit. No, I won't drive past your house. No, I won't rush things. No, really, I don't need a 20 minute speech on how great I am before you ask me out. And last but not least, No, I won't think you're interested if you're not. If you're not interested in me I have no reason to be interested in you.

    Aside from that, you always crack me up my dear! Keep em coming :)

  • shine 4 years ago

    Single also doesn't equal sad or lonely or pathetic. One of my "friends" actually didn't invite me to a PARTY because it was a "couples' party" and I had just gotten dumped. Seriously. Who has couples' parties any more?

  • auntkelli 4 years ago

    You know the fix up thing is because usually the married's are jealous that you are foot loose & fancy free, doncha?